A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a girl. I've always classed myself as straight, it wasn't until recently that this was challenged. I met this girl 2 years ago at a party, we got on straight away and continued to meet up as friends, just hanging out. 2 years on, me and this girl are the absolute best of friends, we have such a strong unbreakable connection and I love it. The only problem is, I'm in love with her. It all started back when we first met, I thought she was so beautiful and cool, and we have a lot of things in common. When we started hanging out a lot, just us 2, we would affectionaly hold hands, play fight, hug for a bit too long and stuff. But we'd never speak of doing these things, we'd just do them. I also used to stay over her house at least 4 nights a week, and when we share a bed we always snuggle up and spoon really tight. From all this happening, I started taking a liking to her, what I thought was just a girl crush. So I just carried on as we were. Then one night we were out clubbing together and we met a girl, who was gay, who took an instant shining to my bestfriend. After that night they started talking a lot and soon after my bestfriend came out to me as being bi, which was brill. But then she also told me that she fancied this other girl, which made me actually be sick. That's when I asked myself, do I actually have real feelings for my bestfriend, not just a girl crush? If her saying that makes me feel like this, there must be a reason, right? The relationship between my bestfriend and this other girl is a whole other story that will take a life time to write down, so I'll just tell you that, over the past year and a half my bestfriend has been heartbroken numerous times, been played even more times and had just as much sex with this girl. My bestfriend also told me a few months ago that she was in love with this girl. Which I also found hard To deal with, but obviously my bestfriend doesn't know how I feel, so I had to be happy for her, as much as it killed me inside. So anyway, my bestfriend called it off with this other girl in the end because she couldn't handle the amount of hurt she was receiving. Obviously through that whole period I was there to catch my bestfriend at every moment, I was her shoulder to cry on, her person to talk to about everything. My bestfriend knows that she can rely on me with anything and it's the same for me to her. We just completely understand eachother. In recent months, we have both gone off to university, saying goodbye the first time was probably the hardest thing ever. Our unis are about 2/3 hours apart on the train, so it's not so bad, but it's not like I can just pop over anymore. So we try and visit eachother every month for a weekend or so. And when that time comes, I do not care about anything else, all I care about is being with her and just having fun. Whenever we're together it is just perfect, we are quite flirtatious and affectionate to eachother, but it's usually mustered into some form of joke, but I know that it's just a cover up kinda thing. If we're in a group of people we'll always just catch each other's eyes all the time. And when we wake up in the mornings we just lie there looking into each others eyes. We've never done anything sexual, except once at my recent birthday houseparty, she asked me if I would kiss her and Then we made out with eachother on my bed for a good 5 minutes. But that's as far as it's gone. And I'm starting to really struggle with self control when we share a bed, I literally just wanna rip her clothes off and kiss her! She actually came to stay with me at uni yesterday for only one night, she left about 5 hours ago. Every time I have to say goodbye to her for another month, it feels like someone is stabbing my heart a hundred times. And whenever she's left I can't help but cry, i just instantly miss her. She's perfect in my eyes and I would go to the end of the world for her. I'm just so lost with what to do. I really want her to know how I feel, because I have a feeling she feels the same. But at the same time im scared of rejection. If anyone has any advice for me, that would be muchly appreciated! Thanks for reading x
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clubbing, crush, flirt, heartbroken, period, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (9 November 2013):
 Well you clearly love her, you don't need me to tell you that.
I understand why everyone is telling you to go for it but there are things you need to consider.
If you doesn't feel the same, she might only she will know that, will you be able to move on and still be friends.
Also, if she does like you back, are you ready to be in a relationship? A lesbian one at that, and all the things that come with that.
If you are ready and thought about things and still want to be with her then yes go for it! You could gain a lot if you take a chance.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 November 2013):
 Tell her how you feel. You will regret it bd wonder "what if" if you dont. Tell her now, she is single and you are single. Who knows how many years you will have to wait if she ends up in a relationship with someone else. So tell her how you feel! I think she likes you too, but is holding back because you havent said anything about maybe also liking girls in that way...
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (9 November 2013):
 You are very much in love with her:) Take a deep breath and tell her how you feel about her. She needs to know and you need to put yourself out of this misery. Take the risk. In the long run you won't regret it.
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