A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so my girlfriend always makes me so mad. She makes fun of me by calling me names like: freak and dork - all because i don't like harry potter? It gets annoying. I try not to but i always give her an attitude about that. Also she's always making me jealous because she likes to spend or talk to my sister and seems to be having more fun with my sister then with me (even though my sister isn't lesbian). I told her that she made me mad when she did that, she tried to stop i guess, but in a few months, she just begun doing it more than before. Another thing that bothers me is that she yells at me a lot. We were both playing basketball with our friends, and i didn't want to play so i was standing of to the side, then she started yelling at me "Why aren't you playing!" and "Come on you are just messing up the game!" and when i tried to start playing and came close to her she told me to go away. Well i have a really bad attitude problem, and to calm down from that, for some reason i just told myself that she was ugly and i was so much better than her (way to much self-confidence, i know.) So any tips or suggestions on what i should do? (well i cant break up with her because we have been best friends for 3 years and have been going out for much of that time
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (9 July 2011):
 You may make better friends than lovers.
Some friends just do not make good couples.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 July 2011):
 Boy, with friends like that, who needs enemies?
A partner is there to support and love you, since it's the outside world that can be harsh. When you're having to guard yourself against someone you love, the relationship is doomed.
Sounds like the two of you were better off as friends than lovers. And you need to stand up for yourself, not try and prop yourself up by tearing her down in your mind. She's ugly and you're better than her? Come on. Only the weak have to tear someone else down to make themselves feel better. I'd say that's too little self-confidence, not too much.
I'd sit down and have a talk with her about it. Find out if she really wants to stay with you, and if she does, then tell her that your relationship can't continue unless there are no words uttered that tear each other down. No more name calling, no more criticizing, and no more embarrassing each other in front of others. Period.
If you've lost feelings for her, it's time to pack it in and end that part of your relationship.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 July 2011):
 It sounds to me like you both need to grow up a bit if you are wanting to be in a relationship. A relationship needs commitment and sacrifice. It is wrong of her to call you silly names because you don't like harry potter this is childish behaviour, does she know that it annoys you, if so well tell her that it needs to stop because it is very immature. So what if you don't like harry potter, everyone is different and is free to have there own likes and dislikes without being judged. She may however be calling you these names as a joke. Talk to her about it and see what she has to say.
You say you get jealous because she likes hanging out with your sister. You should be happy that they get along well and that they have developed a friendship instead of being jealous. This behaviour is just really silly. Your sister is obviously a friend of hers now and a girl needs to hang out with friends as well. Just because you are her boyfriend doesn't mean that she should not hang out with your sister. If she appears to be happier hanging with your sister instead of you, well then you need to question is she happy in the relationship, because if she is not maybe you are not meant for each other. I think you need to give her more freedom to hang out with friends and be independent as well. You need to go out more with friends as well other than your girlfriend and give your life some balance. I really don't see why this is making you mad.
If she yells a lot talk to her about it, tell her how it makes you feel and try and talk calmly to each other from now on. Do you yell at her as well? Try and come up with a plan that if either of you have a problem you will both talk about it calmly and not raise your voices.
To me if am honest I don't see this relationship lasting, you said you cannot break up with her because you have been best friends with her for three years. This is not a reason to stay with someone. You stay with someone because you love them and they complete you, because you cannot see your life with any other girl but her. Where is the passion in this relationship? Maybe it is there but from this post it sounds like you are just putting up with this relationship instead of enjoying it. You really need to think about what you want.
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