A
female
age
30-35,
*dviceneeded01
writes:hi, okay, so nearly 4 months ago, me and my girlfriend of 2 years split up. She split up with me, at the time her dad had got into a terrible accident and was in intensive care, and was told that he would be paralysed from the neck down, also she had to move into my parents house with me, as we got broken into at her house and we were scared to go back. I think that all of this got on top of her, and she broke up with me, just before all of this happened, we were happier than we had ever been, so it come as a shock.So nearly 4 months on, ive tried to stop contact, but its so hard, i loved her so much, and to just stop talking to her was impossible. I recently went away for 2 months, to try and keep my mind off of it, and to clear my head.Whilst I have been gone, i have contacted her a few times, she hasnt contacted me, but when she replies to me she told me she missed me. Told me that she still loves me and always will, we have flirted a bit, she has sent me a naughty ish picture, and still calls me by my pet name. This isnt consistent, its not like we talk everyday, but when we do talk, one of those things always happens.I am going home in about 3 weeks, and i really want to get her back. Im not sure how ready she is, but from the looks of what i have said, do you think there is any chance? I believe she is my soulmate, the girl i want to spend the rest of my life with. Do any of you have any advice, have any success stories? Nothing was wrong with our relationship, i think it was just circumstance and timing! please help me and let me see the hope, that i am so sure is there!! Thank you all for your time!x
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female
reader, adviceneeded01 +, writes (12 June 2013):
adviceneeded01 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much Chigirl, its so nice to hear a story like that, I hate it when everybody says an ex is an ex for a reason, sometimes the stories are different and it can work out! I havent spoken to her too much, but little things are there.. she told me she still loves me, then she told me how hot i look, i know she still has my pictures up.. i think it is all looking promising, but like you said its all about timing.. Im willing to wait around for her, but also need to get on with my own life. Again thank you for taking the time to share your story, it put a massive smile on my face, and i know the feeling of just suddenly falling madly in love, we had that at the begining, it took a while for us to connect, then suddenly one day, it just happened! :D x
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 June 2013):
 What you're facing is difficult, because she was the one who broke up with you. She was the one who found it difficult. Doesn't matter then that you were happy... or that you thought there were no problems and that it was all timing. Because YOU aren't the one who ended it. What matters is how she sees it. If the reasons why she broke up with you have changed, then there is a chance. But you have to talk to her about that.
My advice to you would be to be completely honest. Tell her that you want her back. Put your heart out there. Let her know the door is open for her to come back, because you love her and believe she is your soul mate. Then put NO PRESSURE on her. By doing this, you're letting her know where you stand, and giving her space to think about what she wants. It's going to be hard, and could take ages... but what is your other option? To move on? Find someone else?
But listen very closely to your own heart and feelings in doing this. There comes a point where you can not wait any longer. It could be a 3 months from now, it could be a year from now. But at some point, you're going to not want to wait any longer. As time moves on, your heart heals... little by little every day. And then one day you will meet someone else, and start thinking it wouldn't be so bad to get to know them better. So listen very closely to your feelings. When you hit the point where you've ready to move on, you need to let her know you're closing the door.
I'm in a relationship now with a man who I broke up with and then ended up getting back together with. It took about a year from we broke up and until we started getting closer again. And then another 6 months of dating (NOT in a relationship). During the dating period we had no expectations of each other. Only met up occasionally. Talked a lot. Just went with the flow. The idea is that when you love someone you let them go. If they come back to you they are yours. If they don't come back they were never yours.
After these 6 months of dating (or whatever you'd like to call it), I noticed I hit the point where I didn't want to continue. It was either going to be an official relationship, or I walked. I knew I had come to this point one night when I was out dancing with a girlfriend and found myself wanting to hook up with someone. I was tempted to be with someone else. So that was my ending point. I didn't give him an ultimatum, but I told him this as a matter of fact. He then said he did want to be with me.
Then followed about another 4-5 months of being in a relationship, but still taking it slow and seeing how things went. But this time expecting more. I don't know at what point it happened, but somewhere around 4-5 months in our relationship took a change. We fell in love all over, and got completely crazy about each other. Now we can't get enough of each other, we are going to live together soon, we've even discussed marriage and kids. And the reason why he left me in the first place: he didn't know what he wanted. To go from that place, to where we are today... it's a big change. It's been two years now since we first broke up, so these things can take their time.
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