A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I'm 19, I've never had a girlfriend and don't really find any attraction in very many women (apart from sexually) which really depresses me. What I mean is that I can't see myself with these people in my future and that's what really bothers me.But there is this one girl... I used to go to primary school with her, I never really talked to her, but I've always secretly liked her. I always see her around, at the train station, and she also works at the local grocery store, and I often just go in there and buy something just to see if she's there...Everytime I go out with friends, all I can do is think of her and just try and look around and see if she's in the club. My friends constantly ask me why I don't hit on any of the girls in the club, it's not that I don't want to, but that I don't see myself being able to do it.I want to at least get to know her but I don't have any courage or any interaction abilities to actually get a conversation started.Basically all I really know about her is her name and where she works. I don't want to do anything to freak her out like ask protruding questions or follow her home or something like that.I'd say I'm average (I'm not unbearably ugly :P) when it comes to the looks department, but I'm just really shy. Are there any pointers anyone can give me with striking up a conversation, if not get her number, but at least get us talking to each other...
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male
reader, Zim +, writes (10 October 2007):
I agree with the Tellulah and phiatiger. If you just go up to her and say something like, "Hey, you used to go to (school's name) didn't you?" Then she'll say yes and probably ask your name. Then it's as simple as asking if she'd like a cup of coffee to catch up on old times. Perfect setting to find out how she's doing, it will make you both feel comfortable and as a bonus, you can convert it into a kind of date/pre-date!:-)
Hope that helps
ZIM
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (10 October 2007):
Hi,
I am sure if you went up to her and said "Hello I remember you from school, how are you". She would answer back. If you pluck up the courage to just start like that, it will be fine.
I think maybe your problem is you are looking at women as sex objects. Try looking at them as friends first, and it will stop you being so shy. I bet you can talk to guys ok?.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007): Hi, I once had a guy knock my door, I had been to primary school with him but not seen him for years. He told me that he had liked me since we had gone to school together but had always been too shy to approach me - I dont know why, I think I am the most approachable person in the world! Anyway, he asked me if we could go out sometime and I said yes.
So if I were you, the most sweet thing you could do is go to the grocery store, buy something so that you can go through her check out or approach her if she works eleswhere in the store and be honest. Tell her you have liked her since school and would she be interested in going out sometime. There its as easy as that.
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