A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was just wondering if it is possible to have a happy and satisfying relationship without oral sex. So many people on this web site are complaining about their partner who refuses to go down on them. Are there people who are satisfied with their sex life despite the fact that they don't have oral sex? I've never had a boyfriend, but I'm pretty sure I would never ever go down on a guy.
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never had a boyfriend, oral sex, sex life Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 August 2011):
 well I love giving my bf blow jobs but he will not reciprocate. He does not, will not "cannot" perform oral sex. I KNEW this from day one of our relationship and I agreed to this limitation.
He feels bad that he can't/won't/doesn't provide this activity for me but again I accept it willingly because he provides for me in so many other ways emotionally, mentally, physically....
a sex life is not just about oral sex... or penetration... if it's a RELATIONSHIP it's about love and affection and support for other things...
oral sex is NOT necessary....
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2011): Yes of course, there are many other options then just 'oral sex'. Everyone likes different things, so don't worry to much into it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2011): It would be rare for both parties to be anti oral sex. That leaves the one who will be frustrated and resentful.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2011): I have a perfectly satisfying sex life and I don't receive oral sex (We've been together over 2 years and I've had it a handful of times). I give oral sex to my boyfriend because I enjoy it. My boyfriend, however, dislikes giving me oral sex and I believe that you shouldn't be made to feel like you have to do something you dislike. That said, my boyfriend has always maintained that if I asked for it, he wouldn't refuse me. But together we've found ways of getting me to orgasm that we both enjoy partaking in, so for me, oral is less of an issue. I can, however, understand women complaining of a lack of oral if that is the only way they can climax. I would say, however, don't knock it before you try it. I would have been very hurt if my boyfriend had never even tried to pleasure me in that way. But if you do it and don't like it, don't feel pressured. I'm 100% satisfied because my partner knows how to make me tick in other ways.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 August 2011):
 Sure you can have a satisfying sex life also without oral sex- if you take one dish off the menu, it does not mean you go starving. So ,as long as both parties are cool with it...
I think your real question is : will I find a boyfriend who accepts to never receive oral attentions ?... Well, there is a bit of difficulty here , yes, if he loves you he'll never pressure you for something that you find disgusting, then again, most men really enjoy receiving oral sex.
I would not sweat it much just yet. Most sexual acts may sound unappealing and weird in theory, when you do not have a motivation to try them. It all changes in the heat of the moment, when you are in love and / or in lust your perception shifts amazingly.
So...never say never :)
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (30 August 2011):
 Your question: "Wondering if it is possible to have a happy and satisfying relationship without oral sex."
Sure, why not? Many of my generation and earlier considered oral sex to be nasty, but it's been practiced for thousands of years. It is simply another way to provide mutual stimulation, and is clean and safe within a monogamous relationship. For women it can be her best enjoyment if the man knows the way. Each to their own . . .
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A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (30 August 2011):
Yes, you can have a very fulfilling sexual life and relationship without oral sex. It is kind of like saying you can have a perfectly healthy nutritional diet without ice cream. Sure you can, but ice cream is fun!
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (30 August 2011):
I think you're worried over nothing... find love and see what each of you is willing to please the other. Oral sex is nearly a given (for BOTH parties). Some men are going to make it non-negotiable, a small percentage of men are not going to care for it (FYI: This is a BAD way to pick a partner).
When you factor in giving pleasure to someone your head over heals in love with, odds are really good that you'll get into it. It's important to let your lover TEACH you how to pleasure him. It takes practice and feed back.
These days anal sex is becoming very common amongst your generation, which would have been nearly unheard of 40 years ago.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2011): I think, just my thinking, that once you've had someone do it well for you that you just want it again.Yes, you can have a happy and satisfying relationship without it, but you will still want it. The problem will arise when your relationship is in one of those unhappy, unsatisfying periods, and you will begin to think of all the things that you are not happy with, then you will think of this, and the lack thereof. Even if you don't know about it, you will get curious as people talk as you get older, and you will hear others experiences, and you will get curious. Then, one day when your marriage or other relationship is not going so well and you are getting bored and restless, you will be standing in a checkout line at the grocery and the guy behind you will be checking you out and just have that look in his eyes that he could devour you, and will follow you out of the store, make small talk, tell you he doesn't care if you are attached, etc, but bluntly tells you that he wants to lick you till you explode in ecstasy. Or maybe he's he deacon at your church who comes by in the day, or maybe he's they guy who does the lawn, etc, etc. Then, you will want to know, whether you give in to temptation or not.Forget sex for a moment, and think about comfort and pleasure.Do you like having your shoulders rubbed when they ache, your feet, your hands?What if your partner refused to rub your shoulders, feet, hands?There is nothing dirty or unclean about the clitoris, vagina, or penis....your feet and hands are much more "dirty".If you had a choice, and you do in the USA, and you had to choose between two darling individuals, you love them both, one who did and one who wouldn't, who would you choose?If you don't know what it is like to have it done well, then you probably wouldn't care. But, once you know, you know, and you will care.Trust me, ask any woman who has learned what it is like to have a lover perform oral sex on her and do it well, and with few exceptions they will want it again.My first lover didn't like this that much, or sex overall for that matter, never got into it, and had issues that I never resolved...she and I parted ways for various reasons. But my wife, I think if I suddenly developed an aversion to this (she learned how good it can be with me)...I think I'd have one unhappy wife. Would she cheat, don't know, but I think she'd divorce my ass because it would be like taking the most delicious candy in the world away from a child who was used to having it when she wanted it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2011): before I had a boyfriend, I had the same opinion as you. I thought it was disgusting and that I'd never ever do it. When I got together my my BF, I didn't 'go down on him' until about 6 months later, when I felt I was comfortable with it. I was expecting it to be horrible... but it turns out I love doing it!
Just go into relationships open minded - you may surprise yourself too!
However, it doesn't mean that oral sex has to be part of your relationship - it just depends on the two partners.
Never do something you're uncomfortable with!
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