A
female
age
30-35,
*ik11
writes:I was dating a guy for a few months before I got pregnant. My daughter is now 2 yrs old and I am still in love with him. He left a few weeks after I found out, so we havnt been together for about 3 years. We have had an off and on friendship though. Sometimes we fight like crazy and other times we get along great. And for the last 2 years we have been still sleeping together, on and off. I don't know what to do. I havn't been seriously seeing anyone since him. And I don't seem to want to because, I know I'm in love with someone else. But I know I'm over being in love with someone who I'm pretty sure doesn't feel the same way. And I don't want to tell him in case things get awkward between us. But it hurts a lot. I don't want to be jealous any more of other girls and I want to stop hoping one day things will work out. Because chances are they won't right?????
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2011): Firstly, why are you sleeping with him when he abandoned you and his own daughter? Does he see the child or just come over to sleep with you?
Sleeping with him is the worst thing you could do and you're not going to make him love you by doing it. He's disgusting for sleeping with you but you should know that it was a stupid thing to be doing.
From your post i'm guessing this child is his? If so then he needs to be a father but that's it. You need to move on and stop this nonsense because sleeping with him is just going to end up hurting you more and more and you need to accept that he really does not care and never will.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 January 2011):
 Chances are they won't. You have not been in a serious relationshipwith him for the last 3 years and in the last 2 it has basically turned to FWB.I still have to see an FWB upgraded to steady, committed relationship. And the fact that not even having a child together brought you closer - in fact it seems to have been the beginning of the end- says quite a lot about your chances.
Stop whipping a dead horse. You are in love so it's gonna be hard. But hard does not mean impossible. You can do it if you want invest in your chance of having a happier future and a better relationship with someone else.
You know what you've got to do, I think - stop sleeping with him. Just stop, no need for a lot of hows and whys.
And I would also let go o9f this so called "friendship 2. It's not friendship, it's just your way to cling to him. Friends are to bring love joy and support in our life, not to complicate it . Limit your interaction with him and his presence in your life strictly to what it's necessary to respect his visiting rights as a father. (Btw,is he paying child support ? )
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