A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:This has nothing to do with relationships or sex or anything but I have to ask...Are teen mothers really that common? I'm fifteen and my little brother is turning four in a few weeks. I was 11 when he was born and I was all over him I always wanted to hold him and play with him, so when we would go somewhere I liked to hold him. Most of the time I'm taking him off to see something that would interest him while my parents go about taking care of business. The first time was when he was a few weeks old and someone asked me "how old is your son?". Now this has been happening ever since. Sometimes you can just tell by the look on their faces that they thingk your a teen mom. Are teen mom's really that common? And why do people atomatically assume the worst? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (20 May 2010):
 Yes I completely agree with the previous 2 posters. That is why teen mothers are looked down on often. I do think it is very irresponsible for someone to have, by accident or choice, a baby at a young age, for the afformentioned reasons. I just want to write about why it is unfair to automatically assume the worst of a teen mother. Of course it is very irresponsible. But as this person IS young, they often aren't able to fully comprehend just how irresponsible and foolish having a child young is. That's often the problem. I know it's a generalisation, but a lot of teen mums come from poorer, uneducated backgrounds and therefore don't fully understand that there is more to life than having children, or that they can wait and better themselves before starting a family. Some people genuinly weren't educated about safe sex and the reasons for this. Sometimes teenagers genuinely get pregant by accident. They don't consciously mean to get pregnant but by not taking enough precautions or through lack of education, they get pregnant. It doesn't make them a bad mother or an entirly irresponsible person. It could have come down to one moment when they lost themself in a night of passion and since then they have been a truely responsible, decent person who has done their best for their child. People make mistakes, and people can be products of misfortune and poor education systems. It is unfair to label someone irresponsible because they had a child young. But there is a general feeling of disappointment in teen mothers, because this effects the whole of civilisation. Young mothers, poor children, living off benefits, poor education, not moving forward, the cycle repeating with the next generation. That's why people assume the worst when they see a teen mother, but this doesn't mean we should assume the worst as everyone has their own story. But this is human nature.So they you are, that's another perspective!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2010): Teen moms are very common and as female anon said it is always born from a mistake, whether that mistake was a heat of the moment thing or whether the girl had it planned, I consider both of those mistakes.
People assume the worst because raising a child is very expensive and time consuming, it is therefore seen as important to have a well established career, long term realationship and maturity to raise a child. We all know it doesn't work like that though that there are nowadays more kids from 'broken' homes than there are well established families.
There is a stigma attached to teen mothers amongst people with these kind of views, they just can't understand how a person so young could be a competant, caring mother with the life skills necessary to raise a happy healthy child when they weren't 'responsible' enough to practice safe sex.
Teenagers that chose to have a child are seen as even less responsible.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2010): Teen mother's are very common, more so in certain areas and certain 'types' of people. People automatically assume the worst because the majority of teen pregnancies are 'mistakes', and are more common in poorer and uneducated people. I think most people assume that if you are a teen mother then you are stupid, careless, poor and probably not a good mother.When I was 17 I had an older boyfriend with a 2 year old son. When I looked after him I'd get some really filthy looks, but a lot of younger people wouldn't batt an eyelid, and in fact were more friendly.The majority of teen mothers are no longer with the father and have had to give up education or work to be a full time mother. I guess people look at them and think 'You stupid girl, you've thrown your life away'.
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