A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My question is quite a general one, and this is something that has been bugging me for some time. I am wondering, and would like people's opinions on, whether people who accuse others of cheating, act jealous, distrustful, controlling, suspicious, when they have something to hide?I would be particularly interested in hearing from people who have cheated and how it affected them and their relationships.also, have you ever been with someone who behaved in a distrustful way but they were in fact the one who was cheating?I'd be so interested in hearing people's thoughts on this subject.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): Hey thanks anon, I too have cheated, it was mild and we didnt have sex and I too was drunk and deeply regret it. The thing is, and I am really not interested in being verbally abused by anyone for what I have done on here, since it has happened I have felt really bad and so guilty and I have also felt deeply paranoid and have become suspicious of HIM! Thats why I asked the question; is it normal for me to feel like this?! Wow, at least I have a conscience and feel bad about what happened. I am trying to work on myself and have stopped drinking and going out and I'm trying to have some 'me' time. I love him deeply and don't want this to happen again. I know people say it's a 'cop out' when you say that these things happen when you are drunk, but it's true! I don't care what anyone says, I would not have behaved like that if I had been sober. Thats why I've decided to stop drinking and going out, because my boyfriend is more important to me. So anon, thanks for your honesty and giving me the opportunity to get that off my chest. I couldnt give a toss what other people think; the only ones that matter right now are me and my bf. He comes first.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): yes,from the start everything was about me supposedly hiding things. i must have hid them well because i still never found them. what i did manage to find is she went on to do everything i was supposed to be doing. it caused it to turn around and i turned into the suspicious one. she always lied or blamed me for everything,not an ounce of caring about hurt i felt. since the last and final break up,i have since found out a hell of a lot more about her true character and its too much to repair.
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A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (2 March 2011):
 I believe that a lot of times when the person is super jealous it has to do with thier self esteem. But if a person has had no self esteem issues and all of sudden start pointing finger, arguing, accusing is most likely because they have something up their sleeves. It could be because they are starting a fight so they can get out of the house and be with their lover. It could be that since they haven't gotten caught they feel they are really really sneaky and thinks that their partner could be just as sneaky and messing around.
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