A
male
age
41-50,
*bturell
writes:Ok I have a question , I was dating this woman for 6 months and things were going really well and we took our time in the relationship , she had basically told me about her past life , it wasn't the best , at 16 she was sexually assaulted , at seventeen her friends father placed a gun to her head while he was high , and her only long term relationship was seven years ago and it lasted 10 years , the man she was involved with was an alcoholic and drug addict , and as I have learned alcoholics become very dependent on there significant others , So back in November 13th she had text me saying she couldn't be in a relationship with me , no real reason , and no explanation then 2 days after she had called me and we talked and got back together , throughout November I had lost my job and was looking for one , she even tried helping me look and I didn't ignore her I just wasn't used to someone being so caring and trying to help , and on top of that I had some anxiety issues about the custody with my 5yr old daughter over the months , my ex told me if i needed to talk about that she would be there, and I appreciated it , and then on day I showed up at her house unexpected very upset with my anxiety attack , she had let me in to talk and calm me down , upon leaving , she told me she cared and she loved me , she gave me a hug and we would talk later , then on a Saturday night 3wks ago she said "I don't think I can be in a relationship with you right now " because of my anxiety attacks , and I haven't spoken to her since , My question is are people that have been in relationships with an alcoholic in the past afraid of commitment and trust ? and is there a way I can talk to her to help her through it , I still care about this woman and I want to help her
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male
reader, MajorDisplayerOfInternationalPlayerBehavior +, writes (30 January 2012):
 Well, it sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders. Especially considering her past. Lots of people have had terrible childhoods and traumatic events in life. Can you specify the type of anxiety attacks that you're having? She gave you a good and specific reason, and one with hope to change, and still be with her. She seems like a caring girl, maybe if you controlled the anxiety thing, she would warm back up to you. Good luck.
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