A
male
age
36-40,
*HateWomanBeaters
writes:So, as you all are pretty much aware, I am against hitting women. However, I like to whip and spank women during sex, and I like sex to be as rough as possible. (consensual of course)Anyway, I know who I am and that I don't pose a danger to anyone I am sleeping with, but what is your take? Do you find it hypocritical that I would smack a woman in the face during sex, but would injure someone if they were to hit a woman in real life?Any and all feeback is appreciated. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (26 February 2010):
IHateWomanBeaters is verified as being by the original poster of the question wow you are the aggressor when you are angry? You should never do BDSM angry dude.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010): Hm i like a bit of rough - lol! whereas if a guy was to hit me 'in real life' it'd be v diff.
That said it's with someone i trust not to hurt me (well not physically anyway but thats a different matter...)
Re the kinky stuff he first did it gently and when i commented on it it got more, now its me asking for it as much as anything.
I've actually asked him to slap me on the face which he felt a bit uneasy with, but its for the rough feel as opposed to a properly bad slap..
Also only like that at times. So i'd say talk about it if you feel comfortable and if you're gonna try that sort of thing do it gently first and gage reaction.
I dont really know how it works for the one doing the hitting - when you think about it it is a bit weird i guess. A couple of times ive been the one to be rough but thats when weve had an argument so i am actually still kinda angry just channel it that way! still if your partner likes it-which it sounds like she does!-then just enjoy. Alternatively you might wanna look at yourself and try work out why you like it and she work out why she does..if it is linked to a bad past tho then may well spoil the fun!
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (26 February 2010):
IHateWomanBeaters is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUmmm
how is it not consensual when i get text messages every day saying, "I'm wet and i want you inside me again. LAst night was amazing."?
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A
male
reader, realman +, writes (26 February 2010):
Frankly, I think your behaviors in bed are kinda abnormal. Don't say that it's consensual. If you have been used to this way in bed, I'm afraid you won't secure your partner's agreement when your libido comes. So , if you're still intelligent, you might as well stop doing it.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (25 February 2010):
IHateWomanBeaters is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLOL i kind of exaggerated the smacking thing. I smacked a girl once and it was a smack not a slap.That crossed my boundary of what i would do.My limits are the obvious limits and then no breaking skin and no slapping the face or punching her.Anyway, I am basically pro when it comes to BDSM so i know what to do. I was only looking for opinions as far as am i a hypocrite for roughing up women in the bedroom that want it and then kicking the shit out of guys that hit women, who forgive them?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2010): Personally being a women I like a little rough sex, but not all the time. No I dont find it abusive but if you think you are than just tone it down a little (up to you)
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (25 February 2010):
If its consensual and the woman fully agrees before hand then have fun(?). My advice is that you thoroughly discuss with your partner beforehand. For instance, don't leave out that you will smack her face as well; that is very different from a smack on the butt. Also, if you leave bruises then someone might report you for abusing her, so discuss beforehand. One final issue; make sure you have a "safe word" which she can use when she's had enough and another one for when she wants you to tone it down a little. See to it that you obey that word as soon as its uttered or you might find yourself in serious trouble. Because ignoring it for even a second longer could turn a kinky sexscapade into a rape. So be careful.
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (25 February 2010):
 Well there of course is a difference in abusing a woman and being rough in bed. As long as the woman who you are with also likes this rough treatment, I don't think it's the same as abuse. Also, how hard do you like to hit these women while you are in bed? I mean if it is excessive to the point where you are giving black eyes and split lips, I think there might be a problem.
So no. I don't think you are hypocritical as long as you aren't causing serious physical harm to your partner, and they are on the same page as you are as far as this 'kink' goes. As long as they are fully aware of what you two are going to do, and agree with the activities, and you respect her to the point that you would stop if she had any issues, it's just something that turns you on. Abuse is never consensual. That's the difference between a woman beater and someone who has a thing for rough sex.
I personally would NEVER put up with my boyfriend hitting me, but I like it when he's a bit rough. Even a few bruises are ok. As long as we talk about things before hand and he knows my limits, we both have a good time.
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A
female
reader, claree_xox  +, writes (25 February 2010):
all you really need to do is ask the women if she likes hard sex like that...some women love it but some women just like taking it nice and easy....you should not even hit a woman in the face in sex :L.... i know i wouldnt like it lol...maybe good on the arse but you have to watch what woman you do it too
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