A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am feeling really down and disheartened about my friends reaction to my new relationship.I am almost 23, i have met a wonderful 28 yr old guy and we've been together for 2 months now, although we were seeing each other for a couple of months before it was official.All of my friends, especially my best friend know about how difficult it has been for me 'dating' the last couple of years and trying to find a great guy who wants all the same things as i do.Most of my friends are unattached, and now that every once in a while i want to talk about my boyfriend and how well things are going.. the are completely uninterested.For instance, lately i have been meeting his friends + family, which i'm excited about and they just don't want to hear about it at all. It's almost like now that i'm not agreeing with them and talking about how i hate men and am unhappy that i only ever date freaks.. they couldn't care less!I understand that little twinge of jealousy when you've been single for a while and a friend is suddenly head over heels in a great relationship.. it's happened to me many times before! but i have always put on a brave face and managed to be encouraging and interested!! - especially when my best friend (and flatmate) was in a relationship for a year and i was single the whole time!so with that said my question is why are they acting this way with me? what can i do to help change their attitudes? - keeping in mind i am talking about 4-5 close friends of mine, who's friendship i value and am happy with in many other areas.Thanks.
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female
reader, LittleMissInfo  +, writes (13 May 2008):
 Hiya,In my opinion and experience of this kind of situation (my mate is in the same situation at the minute) yes, i do believe they are jealous. Not in the strong kind of "i want her boyfriend" kind of way, but in a more subtle, they would also like to be in a relationship way.There aren't really THAT many options you have to deal with this, apart from a few of the obvious:Have you tried talking to them about this? Asking them what is up? If not, i suggest it if it is really bothering you. Try not to be aggressive when you ask them though, just make sure that they are ok with it.Have they met your boyfriend? Maybe it is hard for them to listen about him, without meeting him and learning for themselves that he is perfect for you. Suggest a lunch date, or a couple of drinks - something casual to take the pressure off!Do you talk about him too much? I personally know exactly what its like to be single (for what seems like forever!) and then suddenly find someone, and fall head over heels. This will make you drool, and babble on about him all the time without noticing it. Just try to sit back, and think about how much you talk about him during general conversation with your friends, as they might get the wrong idea as though youre trying to rub it in their faces.Make sure you don't leave them out. Obviously you will want to spend as much time as possible with your new man, but make sure you're not excluding your friends or changing too drastically how much you time you spend with them. I think that you're friends just need time to adjust to the idea that you have a boyfriend who you obviously like alot, and adapt to the idea that they might have to start sharing your weekends with him. But hopefully it will all work out for you!All the best,LittleMissInfox
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