A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is acting weird ( I'm not even sure if we are together actually ). He has Bipolar Disorder. He did something weird last night. He went to my house at 10pm. He had written a note. He knocked on the door, and then put the note through the letter box. I didn't know that the note was there until this morning. I live with my Grandparents and my mum. My Grandmother told me she heard the knock at the door last night. She went to the door and asked who was there, but there was no answer. She always asks who is at the door before she opens it at night. My Uncle also saw the letter today, and he was really angry. He said it is immature behaviour, and both of them said that he shouldn't have come to the door at that time of night and left a stupid note.The note had a drawing of a hamster on it , that he drew ( he has pet hamsters ). He said that he and the hamsters miss me. He also wrote that it is hard to stand on the football ground, as there are idiots that are 21 years old, trying to impress 15 year olds. He also said that he has been doing everything properly over the last week, and he said he is heartbroken. He said he feels as if I don't want him. And he said he hopes he is wrong.He did also write weird things on facebook a couple of days ago too. He started taking medication earlier this week, but I'm not sure if he has still been taking it. It doesn't look like it.He has been over to my house when he has been drunk, even In the early hours of the morning. My Grandmother said she will go and knock on his door with a policeman if this carries on. He might have been drinking yesterday.Do you think my family are right to be frightened and angry about his behaviour?. And was he wrong to behave the way he did?. What can I say to him ?. I will have to speak to him, but I am worried myself. He is middle aged, by the way, not a young man!.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 April 2014):
 Of course they are right to be frightened !! Who would not be ?! As for being angry, well I suppose you can't really be angry at someone for being mentally ill, but maybe they are angry at him for refusing to keep his condition under control , by not taking regularly his meds and by binge drinking , when he should not drink at all .
From this point of view yes, they are right to be angry,
it's too convenient to just say " oh well I have a mental illness " and just go about your business wrecking havoc in everybody's life. That would be fine if he lived in a desert island, but if he wants to have regular interactions with people, and if there is a way to regulate his behaviour and manage his symptoms ( and in his case, there IS ) then he should by all means do it, he is a social being, isn't he, not just an individual, - so he is wrong for not doing it. And you are wrong for enabling him.
What can you tell him ?... Mmm, what about that you can't be with him as he acts right now, and to come back when he follows the cures that have been prescribed to him, and when he has stopped drinking ?...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2014): You've written about him a lot and I'm worried for you because you seem to continually avoid leaving him but he's not a healthy person for you to be with.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2014): Mentally ill people can manage their illness and fit in with the rest of us. Tell him to get medicated and stay on his meds or it's over. Then follow through on your ultimatum. I too was with a bipolar guy. It's rough because some of their meds make them feel terrible. It's a tough break but you didn't make him that way, he was born with this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2014): He sounds as if he needs a review of whatever it is he is taking to manage his bipolar disorder, as clearly it's not being managed well. And sorry.. WHAT THE HECK is a person with BIPOLAR doing DRINKING ALCOHOL?????????????????????????????????
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