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Is it possible to have deeper trust developed before getting intimate ? Or are my expectations unrealistic?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 May 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 6 May 2007)
A male age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Ok, i have been approached by quite some girls in my life since i was young. I am 26 right now and my problem has been that i haven't really found a girl who treats me the way i would like her to. Most of them end up trying to dominate me or force me to enter in to something sexual or something that is undesireable to me. I strongly pull back when it happens and don't talk to the girl anymore. What i really want for a girl is to really care for me deeply and show it to me that she is not one of those bitchy ones who just want to come close to me later make fun of the way i look or way i see others. It has happened to me in past, especially with my mother who loves to dominate me, pressurizes and manipulated me to find out what she wants to from me about my private life and later use it to make fun of me in public. This holds true for many other women, as well as some men i have been close to in my life. And i have kind of lost trust in having intimacy with others. Sex for me would be a step beyond reaching a certain comfort level with the other person where we trust each other completely and find comfort being with each other and not for the sake of pleasing others.

Are my expectations unrealistic? Is it possible to have such trust developed before getting to next level of intimacy, i.e. sex?

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A female reader, Helen Help! :) United Kingdom +, writes (6 May 2007):

Helen Help! :) agony auntno i dont think ur expectations are unrealistic at all if shes the right one then shell wait untill your ready and feel comfortable these days everyone rushs into sex because they think its necercerry no1 jus dates any more or enjoys just the romance its always about sex. but you will find sum1 wholl respect your wishs and you and they will wait untill ur both 100% comfortable with the idea of intercourse and shell b the one worth the wait. good luck :)

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