A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've started dating somebody recently, but I don't really know how it's going or what to think.We've been out together a few times now, and while the dates have been good and she's a nice girl, a part of means seems to be expecting more. I know it is wrong to compare her to previous partners (especially because the circumstances are so different), but I can't seem to help it. In the case of my last girlfriend our relationship started off with Sex. We met in a club, I went back to hers, we slept together and our relationship materialised from there. Meeting her was exciting, she was a really fun and energetic person and straight away being with her felt more like an adventure.Now, like I say, it's really unfair of me to compare this new girl with that situation, because she's also perfectly nice girl and we've met in completely different circumstances. Also, for the record, I am not just interested in Sex. I haven't been in a relationship for a good six months or so and I really miss having a partner. I'm just worried that because of my previous experiences, I don't feel like I'm as in to her as I should be. But then again, it's only been a couple of weeks, maybe I'm just expecting too much too soon? After all, I don't want to RUSH in to anything either.What do you think? I miss that feeling of walking away after a date and thinking "Wow! That was amazing!". Is it because of my expectations or is it just that I'm not THAT in to my new potential partner?
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female
reader, KittieS +, writes (14 September 2011):
 If you were "into" her you would know, I don't think you are - sounds to me like your lonely (human beings are designed to be on their own really and everyone wants someone to hold at night at times) I think you need to accept your not into her, and move on - be ause I'm sure you wouldn't want to hurt this new girl friend - you say she's a nice girl, you obviously care about her but sadly maybe she's just not the one and your not quite over your exYour know when you are and your know when the girl is the right one - I wish you luck
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 September 2011):
 Why would you compare a new girl to an ex unless it is to point out how much better the new girl is? I mean the ex can't be all that great since you broke up, so something was off. Which means every girl after that SHOULD be better, as you should be trying to get someone who suits you more. Right? If the new girl isn't as good as the ex, then maybe she's further away from what you need in a partner and not for you at all?
However, you said it's just been two weeks. Thats no time at all. Some relationships start fast and end fast. Others start slow and last a life time. Too soon to judge. If you like her, then spend more time with her and feelings might grow. But, don't sleep with her until you "feel it", if you know what I mean. This is to save both you and her from hurt. If you go a few months and aren't growing fonder of her, then it's better to let her go. But it'll be a lot harder to let her go if you've had sex already... So that's why I recommend holding off the sex until you know if you like-like her or not.
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