A
male
age
51-59,
*otdabs
writes:I am a 39 yr old married man. Few years ago I was abroad for 3 years with my wife for a work assignment where I met this single woman of my nationality who was working in the same organization as me and 10 years my junior. We became good friends, interacted by emails, chatted over cups of coffee etc. She was unaware of my marital status and indirectly asked/proposed me about my marriage plans. When I disclosed, she was surprised and kind of blushed. Anyhow, our friendship continued and we discovered we share a brilliant chemistry and respect and trust for each other. My marital status did not deter us from meeting on Fridays post lunch for couple of hours. Slowly my feelings of friendship turned into a respectful love for her. I met her once before returning and parted with a goodbye hug. We are in regular touch by emails.Of Late, I have been having relationship issues with my wife which I am trying to sort out. So my marriage may or may not last. At the same time, I do think a lot about this woman. Now the thing is, I have been having very vivid dreams about this woman, like doing things together, jogging, swimming etc. But the most amazing was a dream in which me and this other lady were in a warm and loving embrace, feeling very complete and truly in love with each other. When I got up that morning, I could not believe what I saw, and the unique feeling of completeness lingered for few days in my mind and body. It was something which words cannot describe.Can somebody pls help what do the dreams, specially the last one point to?
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male
reader, hotdabs +, writes (12 January 2016):
hotdabs is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses. The troubles I am facing with my marriage are not at all because of this lady, they are independent issues which I am taking care of and trying to resolve. Nor do I have any lust involved with this lady. It just started as a wonderful friendship and this lady is equally responsive to me even after knowing I am married. Few months ago, when she was in the home country and her home town which is different than mine, she expressed the desire of meeting me but that could not happen because of my prior commitments. Through my email conversations, I have hinted her about the problems I am facing in my marriage. The question is, is she still interested in me as a prospective partner (in case if my marriage does not work)?Regarding the dreams, I have dated a couple of women before I got married but never got any dream like this. So this appears to me as a unique situation. Any further suggestions?
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 January 2016):
 These dreams are being created by you and your mind, they are not a sign off your future or that you should be with this lady. I can see you built a great friendship with this lady but I am left wondering would this be the reason your relationship with your wife is having problems? You may not be physically cheating but you have developed feeling for another woman and I am wondering if these are whats causing your marital problems. You need to be honest with yourself about what you want. I'm glad to hear you are trying to work through your issues but just remember that the grass is not always greener on the other side.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2016): I'm a psychology student. When you're awake, you mind uses long term memories to make sense of the things your sensory organs gather. When you're asleep, the sensory organs are far more relaxed and your mind joins various long term memories together in effort to make new prescriptions. Though sometimes these new ideas seem very realistic, your mind makes them up
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A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (11 January 2016):
 Dude the dreams are just your loins speaking to you about this lust you feel for this lady.
Before we can attempt to dissect your issues kindly provide some information about your relationship troubles.
Ps- don't do anything stupid that you might regret when the blood starts flowing back to your brain
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (11 January 2016):
 "Foolish people are deceived by vain hopes, and dreams get them all excited. A person who pays any attention at all to dreams is like someone who tries to catch shadows or chase the wind. What you see in a dream is no more real than the reflection of your face in a mirror. What is unreal can no more produce something real than what is dirty can produce something clean. Dreams, divination, and omens are all nonsense. You see in them only what you want to see. Unless GOD himself has sent you the dream, pay no attention to it. Dreams have misled many people; they put their faith in them, only to be disappointed."
What normally happens in these cases are... You start to compare the differences between your wife and the new lady. You compare how easy it is to talk to the new lady. How she can get your engine going and your wife can not. You think..."If I could just take those qualities of the new lady put them in my wife, things would be so much better."
The new lady seems so much easier to be with, so much more fun. But like an amusement park...it is fun to go on all the rides and have a blast, but you will have to go home sooner or later. This is where come visit me and come live with me becomes the true test.
If you have not learned anything from your marriage now, you will make the same mistakes no matter how many other women comes after. It takes two people to screw up a marriage...so the questions is...
What have you done to screw up your marriage, and what HAVE YOU NOT DONE to fix it???
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