A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, Where do I even start? me and my bf have been going out for 9 months. he has just moved flat and now stays with two guys from his uni - one guy of which, i have a dislike towards sometimes as my bf has ditched me before for him and also acted like a dick infront of him by calling me names and being nasty - although he always said he was joking afterwards, i didnt see the need - for example he implied i was a protestute to his friend as a joke. (as you can gather ladies, this didnt go down well for me, he was in my bad books!) this guy also has a gf, who has flirted with my boyfriend on a number of occassions and called him hot and has gave him other compliments.. she also pesters him to give her a "drum" lesson. but now he lives with his friend and he has started again, its wee silly things but it gets to me. he asked me if i wanted to make a pizza from scratch with him - I agreed. then a few days later he was saying how he and his friend "Pete" were chatting about making pizza and then his gf suggested that they through a pizza party. also, when he first moved in, he asked me if i would be up for going jogs with him - again, I agreed. then a few days later he texted saying he was out with his mate for a jog and he didnt ask me again.. until the other night when he asked if i wanted to go a run the next day. I agreed and so we spoke to next day regarding dinner, there was a slight mix up with dinner as i said i wasnt staying for dinner and he said that him and pete were going to make dinner togeather - and that pete asked him to go a jog but he said he was going with me. So we tried to arrange a time to go but it was too much hassle as he didnt know what time he was having dinner at and i was seeing my mum later. he suggeted we leave it another day and i aked him if he would still go for a jog and he said "yeah, ill see what petes doing" which angered me. also, me and my bf asked pete and his gf to go to the cinema with us, and they were usure and because of this my bf became unsure saying that he didnt know what to see, and he said to pete he might give it a "miss" then my bf said to me that pete asked if we wanted to watch Thor - when this was suggested to me, i began asking my boyfriend why we were going to leave cinema for a film we had seen the previous week, he said nothing. so, when chatting about the jog he ditched me with the other day, i got annoyed and said that he runs after his friend pete and that he wants to be a third wheel with his and his gf. he started getting angry and asking what i want from him. he said that he has started seeing me everyday just to keep me happy - then i said, i thought you wanted to see me/ and he said i do, im just scared to say no sometimes. but, im confused as we dont see each other everyday. 4 times a wee tops, no way has it EVER been everyday also, i maybe ask him to meet up 2 days and he asks me to meet up the other days, so im confused why he even said that?also, he said that he feels like he barely sees his friends - his friends dont text him at all and never amke plans with him and he never makes an effort with them. so he said he will be going home (back to parents house) at the weekends sometimes to see them. and i said, i thought u done that on a sunday? as friday and saturday are our days as he works alot thro the week and we dont see each other that much (when we do meet thro the week its for 2/3 hours tops for that night) i was took back by it all. As whenever he has plans he always invites me, to which extend i tell him to go his self sometiems and he nevers listens he always insists im there - yet im the one he is suppose to be scared to say no to?? i then questionedt that further by asking him when has he not been able to say no to me? seeing as i dont arrange to see him everyday - he then started contradicting himself by saying i always leave everything up to him, when we meet, what we do etc i then asked him again what has that got to do with anything then he said that i always bring up pete and his gf- i then asked whats that got to do wiyh me saying no. then he said that he has been asked to see his friends before and he never mentions it because he is scared what ill say - WTF?? Then i started getting angry. as I have always been there for him, i know his friends dont make an effort and he doesnt make one with them either - so i then started saying that if thats how he feels then we can go on a break for a week and he can do whatever he wants with his friends, and he can also go home. he then said he doest want a break and that he isnt going out partying when we are not happy, i then asked what he wanted from me? at this point i started crying cause he made me out t be clingy and needy when i am not. he then started getting angry again by saying that he has even invitted me to the cinema on wednesday with his friend, when his friend is going to eurpoe and he wont see him for 4 months, i got sooo angry at this as i told him to go himself - so so os many times. and he refused saying he wanted me there and he likes how i get on well with his friends - i cant win, then back at his flat he applogised and said he didnt mean a thing he said. he said he said everything because he got angry with what i said about his chasing his flat mate and he then started saying its the closest thing he has to a friend at the moment. he then said he feels like we barely see other that much and he wants to see me more. i accepted his applogy but now thinkign about it, im not too sure. what do you reckon/
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2011): Plz don't take this the wrong way but I think your boy friend either has a thing for his friend are his friend girl friend because he's tryna throw u off but your really good at paying attention and that's freakin him out so he's tryna make it seem as if your the problem in a way don't fill guilty cause I would react the same way and if I were u I probley would go on a break to see were his head at real talk cause this sounds creepy keep your eyes wide open and I hope u the best
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