A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am really confused with this guy. I've known him for about 2 months. I don't know whether we are dating or not. We went out for about 4 dates. We kissed on our last date and did a little bit more (neck kissing, boobs groping) but we didn't go all the way. One major reason is because I'm not ready yet.Short story, we communicate via text. The only problem I have is the way and the time he takes to reply my message. Sometimes it takes 3 - 4 days. We were texting and suddenly he just didn't reply but when he texts me again (3-4 days later) he just talks randomly, not even says sorry for not replying. I am confused. Why didn't he reply my text and then texts me 3 days later without even saying sorry and starts talking about other stuffs?Like yesterday he said he'll try to finish his assignment so that we can hang out on the weekend. Today is weekend but since yesterday he hasn't replied or texted me again. I never ask him why he didn't reply or something cos i don't want to seem needy, but i'm reallyconfused with him. Are guys really that lazy?
View related questions:
boobs, kissing, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwould it be weird if the next time he text me i ask him casually like hey, where have you been?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit's like a blow to my head. I really like this guy that i don't even mind being treated this way. It's true that I got upset when he didn't reply but I am always happy when I see he just suddenly texts me.our last date was like 3 weeks ago.we usually hang out once a week or so.i hate admitting that you're right, cerberus. I thought he was into me after seeing how he acts. but the whole not replying text does press my button. Is it okay though if i tell him i feel upset by his 'ignoring my text' act?if i do get to see him again, i really want to tell him. i'm the kind of girl who is usually upfront. i don't keep my feeling to myself. acting cool may seems good but i do feel hurt inside.i guess you're right though.maybe i should just accept that he's just not that into me
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2013): I'd more ask him how come he doesn't than tell him how upset it makes you really. OP this is not about you trying to get him to step up, if he's not doing that on his own then to me that's a lack of interest.
You're right in a sense to play it cool. This is not a relationship as you said and honestly I doubt it's going to get to that either seeing as he's really not making much of an effort. Plus that would then be you again making the effort while he does very little about it.
OP listening to stories and recounting details is normal. All smart guys know that impresses women, any smart guy knows that you really have to do very little to impress a woman as long as you know how to listen or can pretend you have been listening by memorizing tiny details. It makes you seem like you care if you're willing to listen to their inane stories and excitedly recount what they've told you. I have that down, I can literally be sitting there thinking about football and all I have to do is be able to repeat her last sentence back to her or ask a follow up question on the topic. not to say this guy isn't listening to you of course and interested in what you're saying when he's with you. But OP the lack of effort is striking here. The fact he doesn't even care enough to bring up the fact that he ignored your texts and didn't reply says a lot. The fact he's not at all thinking about you enough to wonder what you're doing during the week enough to ask you how you are also says a lot.
OP it's been two months, you've only had four dates and he's hardly trying here at all is he?
Oh and there's no implication of him being a douchebag OP, you don't say anything that implies he treats you badly in any way. He's just very lazy about this to the point where it tells me he's not that interested in you.
We live in an age of technological laziness. Most people now get to know each other of text or IM, it's easy, it's efficient and takes no effort at all. Yet he's not even bothered doing that. it's too much on his terms here, everything is when it suits him and in my opinion he's not doing enough to get to know you and only does so when there's a chance he can have a kiss and a cuddle. I'd be wary that maybe that's all he's in this for OP.
Not replying is frankly very rude too if you ask me. I mean it's not a good sign that he doesn't care about maybe pissing you off. Both men and women do their best to impress a new person they're seeing if they're genuinely interested. What does it tell you that he doesn't mind being rude to you either?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys.it's very refreshing to hear guys' point if view.
I know he must seem like a douchebag.or maybe he is but the way he acts when we meet on person are totally different.
He listens to my stories and remembers even the tiniest detail about it. This makes me confuse.if he's not into me why he listens and remembers?
All this time i always act as the cool girl i nwver ask why he didn't reply.i didn't even bring it up at all.i just reply casually to his text and let it slide. But
I was thinking to tell him that the way he replies is really bothering me but since we are not in a relationship or anything i thought it would be weird. What do you think?should i tell him?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2013): OP he's basically not that into you. I mean fair enough if it was few hours later or something then that's normal, you probably know plenty of people who sit on a text for a few hours before replying.
He's not all that interested in you. He's not bothered about getting to know you, and only really puts any effort in when he can be with you face to face so he can have a kiss and a grope.
I mean it's not like he doesn't see that text pretty much straight away, but he just decides to ignore it and you until it suits him and he has time to get frisky with you.
OP don't let him feed you some shit about preferring to do it all in person. I'm exactly that kind of dater but I will not ignore a text or a question.
It's nothing to do with us guys OP, if you want a pretty accurate generalization then we're usually the ones chasing you. Most of us know the value of a simple text conversation during the week before I our next meet up, or online chat etc. OP texting is the bare minimum of effort. It literally takes two seconds to text and you get a chance to reread what you received and carefully compile a witty or flirty response. He's not even bothered doing that.
Move on OP, the guy is not all that interested.
4 dates in two months and he isn't even bothered making the minimum effort. Time to move on to a guy who thinks you're worth more than ignoring all week until he's feeling in the mood for some sexy fun.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (1 June 2013):
 We're not necessarily lazy.. What we are is DUMB!!!!
WE think that you girls are falling all over yourselves to get to spend time with (AND, provide s*x for) us!!!! AND, thereby, we can communicate with you if and when we wish... and not at other times... such as when you (girls) seem to expect it......
There ARE a few guys out there who DON'T fit in to this mold.... Obviously, the one you wasted four dates with, isn't one of them.....
You might as well forget him, and find a REAL boyfriend...
Good luck....
...............................
|
