A
male
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anonymous
writes:I tried an online dating site.Out of curiosity I set up a fake female profile to see what it's like from their end. It's absolutely ridiculous! What an eye-opening experience. I got bombarded by messages. The guys were almost like wolves. It was a bunch of silly generic lines that effectively felt like a bunch of guys plopping themselves in front of me, flexing their muscles ("You like? ;)") and then moving on to the next profile. It was nauseating. I had no idea!Now that I think about it, it can't be all that different in real life for girls. I don't know how you ladies put up with it. So in one day I learned a whole lot. What do women genuinely respond to? How do you filter through all these horrible pitches from the men around you? How can you even begin to spot something promising???
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your insights. It's been very helpful. This online dating is new to me.I have a follow up question which would benefit from your experience. Sometimes I message prospects and my message is never read nor is my profile every viewed. It has me wondering if my subject line didn't catch their interest or maybe that they are simply swamped with messages. I don't have a photo on my profile but I do attach some photos in my messages.Should I message again?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008): This post made me laugh so hard. I was on a online dating site for 6 months and I have to agree that yes men are like wolves on those sites.One day I got 46 messages alone and I'm attractive enough but not THAT good looking lol.I went on 15 dates and they were mostly nutters. The first few times I got to know the person over several weeks with email and phone only to meet them and realise they were bullshit artists. In the end I'd suggest coffee within days (with a friend lurking in the background lol) just so I didn't waste so much time getting to "know" someone that didn't really exist.In the end I did meet the man of my dreams. I contacted him because his profile was almost identical to mine similar interests, values etc. Not once did he act like a sleaze or mention sex. He was my last online dating attempt before I gave it up for good. I must admit after so many dud dates I went to cofee in my gym clothes post workout without makeup lol but he asked me out again... and again... and again. Didn't even kiss me until the 4th date.My advice to you to get a woman on an online dating site is to let them come to you. Women will generally contact people they are genuinley interested in.Talk on several occasions but dont mention catching up she will eventually do it.Don't over comment on her looks when guys say oh your so georgeous you know they have most likley made a mental picture of what you will look like naked having an orgasm.If you like her on the date suggest another one there and then. No woman or man for that matter likes wondering if they are good enough or if the other person will call.Im writing a book about online dating so if anyone has good stories they should post them.I've been on dates with guys who it turns out:1- have been in prison2- will soon be in prison3- are still married4- are not the guy in the profile picture 'sorry love my mate always has the luck with the ladies so I used his picture instead' 5- who are perverts6- stalkers7- drug addicts8- been stood up9- made to pay the entire bill10- with someone who farted during the goodnight kiss11- with someone who before they had even held my hand grabbed my boob in a cinemaThere are some charming men on the net. I'd never do it again but I'm glad I did it, it's given me immense insight into the morals of men.
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A
female
reader, Gem86  +, writes (28 November 2008):
 Haha! Being a female who has recently joined a dating site, I laughed a lot at this post!!Yes men are really like this on dating sites. I actually dont bother to read much mail now, and I go looking for them, and I message them.But to answer your question, what would genuinely work? well a bloke who has clearly bothered to read about you and asks questions, like 'So where did u study?' or 'I like this band too, what do u think of this other band?' I often feel they just look at the pics and couldnt care less if u have a brain between your ears. Bringing humour to your message will also really help!Just saying 'hi how ru' or 'youre hot' etc etc looks like something that has been said to every female you slightly fancy. Its not a game of odds. Its about showing someone some genuine interest. I would also say dont even think of asking her out until u have been talking online for a while (ie. on msn) I say this for two reasons: 1. As you well know, some arent real profiles and are 'fake' 2. You might look too pushy, or just another nutter lol.I hope you find success in it. Dont be another Wolf. Good Luck :)
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female
reader, petina1 +, writes (27 November 2008):
 You can usually tell the genuine ones. They talk with respect. The others just want to talk about sex. Also thank god for 'blocks' on sites. hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, MissUnique +, writes (27 November 2008):
 Well, if the guy is honest and just themselves it works for me although I hate it when they just say one like like, "Hi, how are you?" That's the worst. If they seem genuinely interested then the girl will most likely respond. If the message is just "Wow you're hot" or some other stupid chat line they'll just click the next message. Also what's annoying is when you don't respond to a guy and then the next day you have a new message: "Hey what's up with you not responding?" 'What's up' is that we don't want to reply, take the hint!By the way I laughed so hard at the question: "It's unbelievably hard being a woman!
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