A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Are gay thoughts normal for teenagers?I'm very interested in girls. But I'm having gay thoughts that really scare me, I'm not attracted to other men in any way. These thoughts make me feel stressed and anxious. I don't want to be gay and I want to get married to a beautiful girl and raise kids. I don't even want to be gay and its not really making me feel like myself! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 November 2011):
 nobody wants to be gay... trust me... my brother is gay and he loves his husband madly but he said if he had his choice... yeah.. wife, kids, picket fence, station wagon the whole nine yards would have been his choice...
that being said... having thoughts about homosexual activity does NOT make you gay... many straight men like anal stimulation.... that doesn't make you gay either...
our teen years are for figuring out what and who we are.. experimentation is normal...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2011): Most people privately have those thoughts at some point or another. Its perfectly normal to wonder about anything and everything, including sex but it doesnt make you gay. I might wonder what`s at the top of Mount Everest but it doesnt make me a mountaineer. Don`t worry about it. Its mainly to do with your hormones. They will be going crazy at the moment so pretty much anything can be a `turn on`. Its nothing to worry about, things will settle down over time.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (23 November 2011):
 Hey sweet,
When you're a teenager, your hormones are going positively nuts, and can give you all kinds of thoughts, urges and feelings. You've just got all kind of hormones firing and your body is just curious and horny. That's life.
I wouldn't worry too much. You have plenty of time to figure out your sexuality, and honestly - it's more of a continuum than one box or the other. So it's not that you're either gay, straight, or bi. It's more like there's a scale from 1-20, 1 being absolutely straight and 20 being absolutely gay, and people can fall anywhere on the scale. So, if you've got a little bit of curiosity when you're older, maybe you'll find you're like, a 3 or a 4. And that's cool. Fantasies are just fantasies, they don't really reflect on your real life desires. I know a lot of people that fantasize about threesomes, but would never actually have one.
If you are finding yourself attracted to girls, wanting relationships with girls and fantasizing about marrying one and falling in love, etc., you're probably going to end up doing just that.
You are completely normal. Don't fret too much. I think a lot of people have fantasies about their own gender - and plenty of those people are straight.
No worries!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2011): How did you start having gay thoughts? Meaning any outside influences?I'm going to confess to having lesbian dreams as a teenaged gal. They were hot dreams. Totally made me horny and even orgasmed.What did I do when I woke up? I totally knew I wasn't a lesbian. Maybe it was because dreams are dreams and the brains works things in ways we haven't even begun to understand.Did I want a lesbian experience? No. Did I want more lesbian dreams? No. Did I want more horny dreams? YES!It could be said that when we don't have a loving relationship with a Dad or Parent; the desires can lead to homosexual imaginings. Its up for debate still.Also if you are viewing porn-thats going to influence gay thoughts/desires as well.If you don't want to entertain such thoughts. Push them away. You are master over your thoughts and desires and not the other way around. Just have to keep at it until you have it down pat. This way, you are totally ahead of the game.If it still bothers you then seek counselling.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 November 2011):
 You say that you do not want to be gay, but we are born the way we are and we cannot change that. However to me it sounds like what you are going through is just hormones and curiosity. You say you like girls, so don't worry about these thoughts or feelings just go with the flow. It can be completely normal to go through a phase of having these thoughts as a teenager. So try not and stress out about them.
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