A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi all :)I've been seeing a guy for a while now and we both want to make our relationship official. However there are some concerns I have regarding his past and i am wondering I'm thinking too much about things.Basically he has been with a fairly large amount of women before me and has gained kind of a reputation for drunken one night stands. He's been honest about it and said he slept with a lot of people, the majority of them while really drunk but he was single and would never act that way while in a relationship, and hasn't slept with anyone while seeing me, or while we were getting close before hand. He just has a reputation as a bit of a charmer and I just don't want to be another number to him? Although we haven't slept together as of yet, due to me wanting to see of he wanted more than just sex out of the relationship.Additionally while I was out with him he text a girl saying 'are you out tonight lover? :)' he speaks to people like that generally but I know he slept with this girl on new years so maybe that's why it bothered me slightly? Or if I'm being silly? He pays lots of attention to me, calls me to see how I am, and often asks when I'm free and has also told me wants a official relationship with me, and wouldn't even consider anyone else, so am I worrying over nothing?
View related questions:
drunk, one night stand, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your answers :)
'Aunt honesty' yes i guess the main point is that he was single. I would also not like to think people would judge me just of the past or what they have heard. He is after all being honest with me - will just see how it goes!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2011): If you really did not want to be just another conquest, then you would not date a guy who sees women as conquests.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2011): I'd say you have a valid worry/concern. If a man acts like a Player, talks like a player...He is so caught up in behaviours of being a player and still uses termonology of a player and still speaks overly friendly to Exs. I would stay the hell away.Of course he is going to say he wants an official relationship with you- players KNOW how to get what they want.Why are you even giving this guy a chance? Now look at how you are? worrying, suspicious, insecure, uncertain. yes those are signs and traits and emotions of being in love.I was being sarcastic by the way.If this man does not know how to have healthy boundaries on having female friends and does not lead women on; then maybe you could trust him.But you are not big on trust with him and with just cause.SO i'm going to say turf the guy.Many are Prepared for such as you. The decent, honest, sincere type that you will with out a doubt KNOW are 100% faithful and in love with you.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 November 2011):
 OK so yes he does have a past, but just because he has had lots of one night stands does not make him a bad person. If he was single well then he was free to do what he likes. By the sounds of things he is really interested in making you his girlfriend, and am pretty sure he would have giving up on you a long time ago if it was just a quickie he was looking for. If your gut tells you he is interested and I think he is well then you should give him a chance. If him texting girls like that bother you well then tell him that. But he seems to be open and honest with you about everything which is great. So I say give him a chance.
...............................
|
