A
female
 ,
*rizzylizzy
writes: broke up with my boyfriend about 6 months ago. We lived together and it ended badly. It hurt a lot for both of us and he went away to France with work so we never spoke to each other. On Friday I had to e-mail him to say his post was still coming, and we have been mailing ever since. He is in a bit of bother at work and he is asking my advice. He is using the words babe and hun while he's speaking to me and I have started to use the BABE word myself..These are loving terms we used to use for each other. I know he needs a friend right now but is he looking for more or am I? Oh I'm so confused!! Some advice please I don't know what I'm doing
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female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (5 October 2009):
 It is next to impossible to know for any of us. We can only wager the same guesses you will. He may be looking for comfort and familiarity while he is in a stressful time in his life and until I knew for sure, if I were in your shoes, that is how I would look at it.
My ex-boyfriend and I are friends again after many years of walking our own paths. I am very happily with another man and know myself better than I did in those earlier days. I am not even tempted to go "backwards".
However, he is not so happy in his life (he's better, but admits to loneliness - poor guy). He has never mentioned that he wants to get back together or if he has feelings for me or not, but he does call me by his old pet names for me (one of which is "Killer" - LOL - inside joke). It doesn't bother my current boyfriend, which is important, too.
I am not interested, as I said, in pursuing anything and I am sure he has the good sense to know I am happy; not to pursue anything either, should he be.
So, I CHOOSE to view it as that is our special thing - the names - and the meanings have simply evolved to reflect our NEW arrangement. If he has feelings for me and chooses to confess them, I will deal with it when and if it is an issue. I won't waste time and energy on guessing games in the meantime.
I suggest you examine your own feelings and then if you decide you do not want to pursue anything, don't encourage him, but don't spend any time worrying about it, either.
I have female friends who call me “babe” and “sweetie” etc., so it may be entirely innocent.
Good luck.
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