A
male
age
41-50,
*ruce lee
writes:I have been warned by a lot of people that sexual relationships are not all their cracked up to be. That there are a lot of ups and downs. Is this true? Or is it possible to have a relationship where there are plenty of ups and few downs? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (5 January 2012):
 Lol, no, not all relationships are emotional roller coaster rides involving huge ups and huge downs.
I have had a lot of sexual relationships, and I can tell you that the only thing that makes them up and down is not the relationship itself. But what is going on the the peoples' personal lives.
I just got out of a sexual relationship where a girl from the marines had a sudden and sever bout of PTSD as she remembered her friend blowing up. She started seeing shadows and yelling about her friend. She was in an already semi-stressful part and this put her over the edge. She needs a break, so I am giving her space, and am there for her as a friend. I am seeing another girl.
It is going well so far, and things are good. There was no ups or downs with the woman from the marines and there is no ups or downs with this woman.
The only thing that makes relationships end are different needs and someone being in a really bad place in life.
If those two conditions are not part of the relationship, then you will be fine.
A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (4 January 2012):
 What do you mean by 'sexual relationships'? FWB relationships would be pretty up and down, and perhaps more down, but a long term committed relationship should in general have more ups than downs.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2012): Ah...sorry I'm doing my best to not laugh and not come back with a smart arsed remark about the ups and downs of a relationship.
Okay going to say it 'I can't get enough of the ups and downs' with my Fiance.
I say if a couple focused on more ups and downs, they would be happier to a degree in that the feel good chemicals-vasopressin and oxytocin- would be ongoing and with those; we tend to want more and have happier mindset to be more loving, forgiving, patient with our partners.
Why FWB or sex only based relationship don't work is that the female releases chemicals in the brain that are kin to the cuddle chemicals so this in itself creates in us a bonding to our partner. Even post climatic laying together and holding one another signals to our brain the bonding chemical. Then add to that the sleeping together, overnight further creating emotional bonding as well as chemically bonding. So why women struggle compartmentalizing sex as you men are more capable of doing which is also in keeping why men are seen as more favourable Soldiers. And even then, that is how a Soldier is trained to be- so he is more effective and better able to cope with stress.
Also take into account that a man is more able to orgasm in 2-5 minutes over his female counterpart that can take up to 20 mintues to reach orgasm.
So with this would invite in the sexulized relationships are not all they are cracked up to be, because even though a man can logically say, just want you for sex, and the woman goes sure- her body and brain tell her otherwise. So it appears that men have lied to us or even used our vunerability or this chemical make up of ours, to get what they want while we are left feeling we are in love with you and thus the whole, why haven't you called? I miss you? The behaviours of a GF and the insecurity and drama that goes with it all.
Yay!
Revolution has not taught us women we can do sex for sake of sex and not walk away unscathed. Granted some women can but that has a lot to do with their view of sex be it scewered or influenced by childhood trauma.
Seeking a narcissist female that uses sex but don't expect her to be monogamous, friendly, loving, trustworthy as she is in it not for the sex but to get what she can from you and has no shame to use sex as a means to get it.
Hopefully this offers some insight?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 January 2012):
 Most relationships have there ups and downs, but it should not always be sexual. If it is well then it is a case of you getting used.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2012): A purly sexual relatoinship comes with risk in feelings. the woman has bonding hormones that are released during intercourse. it is not as simple as you think it will be. attachments will happen.
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