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female
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anonymous
writes: Hiya, hoping you can help me--sometimes I feel weird talking to my bf about things that bother me or things that happen at school--I always feel like I'm bothering him with my problems or that he'll grow bored of me.On the other hand, he tells me every bit about his day or what he's thinking, and there were times he's told me that he never knows what's on my mind. But I'm afriad to open up to him a majority of the time because I feel like he won't be interested and instead of having him brush what I have to say off, I'd rather keep quiet. I have tried being more open, but this is a bad habit I always fall back on. Can anyone help me or give me some tips on how to stop doing this? I did have a past relationship in which the guy was abusive. I guess that would be part of the reason why I'm afraid to talk to my current bf, but I don't know how to stop living in the past or how to feel okay trusting him. I don't know what to do. Please help, thank you. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, mdo808 +, writes (10 March 2006):
there is nothing that can come out from living in the past. trust is a hard factor in a relationship. have you talked to your boyfriend about having difficulty speaking your mind? if he is a true friend, he would have no problem answering that question.
i think could.... maybe think before you talk. it isn't hard. if you believe it is something you wouldnt want to listen to, then don't say it.
about the trust factor in your relationship. give it a shot, if you don't try, you will never know! from what i hear from you, he sounds like a nice fellow.
i totally understand where you are coming from. i am quite the silent shy quiet, reserved person myself. i am scared that it would bore my girlfriend too. maybe its just something people need to get used to: quiet people. because the truth is, quiet people have a lot to say, its just that they dont know if they can tell anybody, because they dont trust anybody.
good luck with everything. my advice wasn't very constructive, but i empathize your situation. Best of luck!
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