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male
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anonymous
writes: Where to start!! a few months ago i met this amazing girl, we had a great time, and quickly started a relationship, on our first date, she told me how she had a drug problem when she was younger, and had been forced to rehab 3 times by her parents in her teens, she's only 21!! as you can imagine, situations like drug addiction lead to sexual encounters with horrible people and she just told me that she used to sleep with a guy only because he would give her coke, while she was dating someone else, and ended up giving her boyrfriend chlamydia. she's clean now, as far as i know. how many sexual partners has she had? i dont really want to know. when we're just sitting back talking, she tells me stories about her former boyfriends, who all treated her like shit, i'm a nice guy, and treat her with as much respect and dignity as possible, shes a sweet and shy girl who i think has been mistreated by so many that she has a horrible self image, i do my best everyday by telling her how amazing and beautiful she is, and how its her future and not her past that concerns me, i love her, and believe she loves me i'm 23 and its the first time i've ever told anyone that i loved them, or been in love. and i can tell by the emotions i feel that i am in love. i worry about her constantly when she's not with me, and hope we can continue to grow in our relationship, but her past still bothers me. anyone been through similar situations? hopefully with positive outcomes? just need alittle help dealing with this.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2006): I recently posted on this website so I can relate.
My partner is 16, I am 21, We've been together around 6 months.
She got into drugs when she was about 12-13. Shes been having sex since she was 13 and has slept with over 50 guys since. Shes been raped twice. Shes been gang banged by 6 males at once... I could go on...
We're very much in-love, we still have that spark, we tell each other everything, we're like best friends, shes the most hounest person I've ever met and we never lie to each other even if the person isn't going to like what the other person says, we always talk about our problems as they arise to overcome them.
Its funny how people change eh?
Letting go of someones past is hard, I still bring her past up from time to time because it hurts & makes me angry to think about it. Shes not proud of it.
My advice would be... give her the benefit of the doubt if shes changed shes changed, everyone has a past, if you really care about her do your best to get past it like I am trying to do.
Good luck with your relationship.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (27 June 2006):
 I used to work in drugs rehab about ten years ago - lots of people have relationship difficulties once they are clean because of their pasts. However I am sure she has received counselling about her addiction and behaviour during her treatment. You can never predict the future but as long as you give her consistent support, and try to avoid going places with her that could be potentially druggie environments like clubs that have that reputation then it should all work out for the best. Think positive! She is lucky to have such a nice man!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): Hey, well let me start by saying that I am a recovering drug addict myself. And, yes, I have done plenty of things I am not proud of. But, trust me, we can change. I was abused and mistreated from a lot of situations I put myself in as well. I will tell you though, that I am probably one of the nicest and most honest people you could ever meet now. I work on myself daily to keep myself clean. I went through treatment and am now in a 12 step program. My boyfriend feared a lot of the same things that you fear. But, he has been patient and kind with me and has gotten faithfulness back in return. Just give her time and try to believe in her unless she gives you reason not to. Just remember that drug addiction is a hard life to come out of and she needs your love. I hope everything works out for the best with you two.
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A
female
reader, Smiler +, writes (27 June 2006):
 Hey Babe
Well firstly you sound like you have been bitten by the love bug alright :o) as does your g/f. congrats I'm happy for you both you sound like such a sweet guy the way you tell her daily that she's beautiful and reassure her constantly and for that alone i commend you. the only thing i would suggest to you honey is that you should talk to her about your concerns regarding her past tell her it has no effect on your future together but its only fair you know the whole story, cause you feel a little worried about what you two can and can't talk about and that you want a completely honest relationship... no secrets but i think so far honey your doing just fine together so just enjoy yourselves... :o)
I hope my advice was of help to you in this situation :o) and good luck with it. If you ever need a friendly chat of shoulder to cry on or just more advice I'm always here for you
You Take Care X
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