A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have always been attracted to the opposite sex. I've only dated men, want to marry, and have children one day.However I started a new job and for the first time in my life (and I'm in my mid 20's) I feel as though I'm "attracted" to this girl. I use quotes because I don't know what I'm feeling. I'm very confused. You would think at my age I would have already known if I wasn't straight. I'm obviously not homosexual but now I'm questing where these feelings are coming from! And by me saying this is weird- please this is NOT a bash on anyone who is LBGT. I have zero issues with people of different sexualities. It's weird because I'M going through something I am unfamiliar with.There was (is?) a very strange vibe between us too. It's like we tried to avoid each other but it just didn't work. We kept catching each others looks and at time it has been awkward. But ironically the other day she invited me to go out to a bar with her and we just chatted in a very platonic manner, nothing weird or out of the ordinary was mentioned. Then back at work it's awkward again lol.Out of everyone I work with, she's the first one to invite me, the new person, out to do something. She is also best friends with another coworker who is openly lesbian which sometimes makes me wonder. I just don't know anymore. I honestly don't want the way I am towards her but I can't help it. I wonder if she feels the same way or is picking up a weird feeling from me hence why she invited me out. I don't know.Anyone experience this before? I'm so confused. Advice?!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (4 March 2015):
I think she invited you out to make you feel welcome, simple as that. I don’t think you need to worry too much about these feelings. Sexuality is complicated: some psychologists have questioned the idea that most of us are 100% anything, whether gay or straight. Not everybody knows their sexuality at your stage of life, and indeed sexuality can change and develop with time. You are able to appreciate nice looks and good qualities in a woman and have taking a liking to this woman. It doesn’t mean you got your sexuality wrong. Perhaps you feel a closeness to her because she was kind to you, looked out for you and made you feel better in an uncomfortable situation. You don’t seem to have any desire to date her or explore this attraction, so I’d just put it down to a close bond, which is absolutely fine. Don’t allow it to upset or concern you.
I wish you all the very best.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2015): It's one thing to feel and another to act on it. If you do not see yourself in a relationship with a girl then your gut feelings are telling you that your life will be just like your feelings, confusion, if you get entangled with her. On her end, she may sense your attraction and being indecisive about your sexuality is going slowly. So the way I see this is simple: if I dont want that type of relationship then I would avoid her and let time take away the infatuation I am uncomfortable with so that I am no longer confused.
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