A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Has anyone out there ever had their husband leave them for another woman, and then return? My husband left me for another woman and i have moved forward and am looking forward to a great future with my kids. I just wanted to know if anyone had this happen to themm only to have their husband return months or years later asking to reconcile? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 June 2011):
 If my husband left me for someone else, there is no way I would want him back. I'm not some convinient doormat or safe haven.
I feel strongly about certain things. One thing is working through issues, but being left and that once the "other women" turns out to be either all wrong or not as much of a bed of roses as "he" expected, it's not something I would want to touch with a ten foot pole.
You might be very different from me. You might be more emphatic then me. I would suggest, if it is something you are 100% sure that you want to do (rebuild the marriage), that you BOTH see a marriage/couples counselor.
If you do decide you want him back, make sure you do it for the right reasons. That it is what YOU want. That you two work out WHY he did it in the first place, that you two get help rebuilding trust. That you don't "just" do it for the kids or to keep the family together.
Also I would suggest he gets himself a place of his own, not move straight from her house and back home. He needs to ear that trust and "privilegde" back. (IMHO)
There is however, no rules that says you have to take him back.
What does your gut say?
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (5 June 2011):
 Not husband, but boyfriend... (correction - EX boyfriend) and he did this on 3 separate occassions. The 4th time it happened, he stayed with her.
Pleb, glad to be shot of him now!!!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (5 June 2011):
 That happens quite a bit actually. A lot of times, the mystique of being illicit wears off, and they realize that their escape from their reality becomes laden with as much responsibility and familiarity as they had. Add to that the "honeymoon period" of any relationship, illicit or no, and statisticly speaking, there's a much higher rate of breakup/divorce among people who started by cheating.
Also, keep in mind, since trust is an essential bond, how strong is a relationship when trust is either broken or never existed in the first place? Will his new woman ever be sure of his never cheating again? He's acquired a taste for it.
Many times a husband after having strayed, realizes that he should never have left. That he still loved her, that he misses the kids, etc. And many times, they don't.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2011): Mine asked to come back a few times but I had rebuilt a new life for me n the kids so wasn't interested
Why would anyone want a man who had clearly lied cheated and left a devastated family - am not anyones doormat or temporary landlady
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