A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi Folks,Thank you for replies in advance.I am a 30 year old woman, I have been with my partner for 8 years and 7 or those 8 we have being trying for a baby.Every month is a disappointment, both of us have got tested and apparently healthy. 7 years without luck seems to be drastic, we have an active sex life, sex most days and when ovulating. I'm not stressed or anything. I have a good diet, excercise, don't drink or smoke and he is the same. I just don't understand why my body is letting me down:(. Has anyone else the same experience? Has it been this long for you to get pregnant?.I am starting to despair.
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female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (13 November 2013):
Every couple is different. There is no set time you should conceive by. However 7yrs is a long time. As long as you're fit and healthy there is a chance you will conceive. I've heard of couples having children long after they'd given up hope. I know someone who was told she was infertile and got dumped by her husband for it. She met a new man and bam! She's pregnant. Don't give up hope. Stress affects fertility so try to relax more and not frustrate yourself about this. Have you considered adoption or fostering? Both are worthwhile and fulfilling but require alot of consideration. If you have love to give but no child to give it to, there are children out there without love. Just a thought.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 November 2013):
 Come on Eyeswideopen , don't be mean :)- you know English is not my first language...
I'll rephrase it simpler- those swimmers might also have got to the finish line 10 or 15 years ago, but maybe today they have decided to just sunbathe poolside.
Obviously, OP : I hope this is not the case and I wish you prompt, full success in your attempts. But, having him checked too can't hurt.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (12 November 2013):
 "but still sufficient to fecundate"...that's going in the DC Manual, thanks Cindy!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (12 November 2013):
 I'm surprised they didn't start by testing him. It's so much easier to count sperm and watch them swim than to do all the ultrasounds, exams and bloodwork on the female.
Of course he should be tested. Just because he sired a daughter years ago doesn't mean he still is producing viable sperm.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (12 November 2013):
Of course he needs to get tested too !
First, people can be born fertile and then become sterile, or at less less fertile at some point, due to various causes: infections, illnesses , use of drugs ( both prescription and illegal ), radiations etc.etc.
Second, suppose his sperm count and sperm motility was already low at the time he conceived his child, low but still sufficient to fecundate the child's mother. And suppose it got lower in time ( as it tends to happen )... that would explain your current issues.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2013): Original Poster here**Hi and thank you for all the responses.I did see a specialist, I was poked and prodded, had ultra sounds etc and other blood tests and everything came back as normal. I am ovulating and I have an ovulation kit, I know the days I ovulate every month and I have a 28 day cycle.I went to my doctor again a couple of months ago and I was reassured I was fine.He has a child from a previous relationship, his daughter lives with us so I don't think anything could be wrong with him?. Maybe I should ask him to get checked:(.It is very frustrating. I suppose its just more trying.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 November 2013):
You need to see a specialist, first your partner, for sperm count and motility assessment, then yourself if his screening tests show him as able to produce healthy sperm.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/female-infertility/DS01053/DSECTION=causes
Seven years of trying with no pregnancy would suggest you need to see a specialist.
Any reason you haven't done so?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (11 November 2013):
It took me a few days the first time, the second took a little longer because my wife was breastfeeding, but it was still only months. I have friends who got people pregnant who they only slept with once.
So, 7 years is waaay too long, there is definitely a problem. If that was normal we would have gone extinct a long time ago.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2013): Hmmm….no, it should not take 7+ years, especially if you're specifically trying when you're ovulating.
My first piece of advice would be for your partner to get a sperm count.
It's a quick, relatively inexpensive process and will help point you in the right direction.
If he is making enough sperm with the right shape/motility, then you should see a fertility specialist. It is possible that you are not ovulating when you think you are, or that you have some kind of structural issue (uterus shape, fallopian tube scarring, etc.) There are a lot of possibilities, but a lot of them can be fixed :)
I wish you the best!!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (11 November 2013):
Well, honestly no, it's strange. In one year of regular , frequent, unprotected sexual activity a wide majority of women will have gotten pregnant, so if it does not happen , it's logical to think that there is some fertility issue.
What have you exactly been tested for ? " Healthy " does not necessarily means fertile. Did you do all the preliminary tests, sperm count, motility, ovulation tracking, etc. ? Did you see a fertility specialist, what did he say ? ...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 November 2013):
 Have you been to see a doctor about fertility? Have you tried tracking your ovulation?
And what did you get tested for?
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