A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was just wondering if anyone else has ever discovered that there ex partner may of been a narcissit?I have been out of a long on/off reletionship for almost a year and have read up alot on narcissim.I believe my ex is just that! I knew him 10 yrs, we had 2 kids but our relationship was always on/off. The penny finally dropped. He had 2 ex's he was in contact with over the years, texting,flirting with, one of which was right under my nose. He was violent to me and i now relialise emotionsally abusive too, critising etc. Our relatioship finally come to a head because he came home drunk one sun afternoon and picked a fight with me. I locked my door and refused to let him in. He went on to throw a huge brick through my window, my children were present the whole time, the police were called and he went from monster to weeping baby. He has tried love bombing me, but his effects always weak. he still takes no blame for his action and actually recently emailed me saying he remembers the horrors of that day and 'what the hell happened to us'. Even though we have kids i have a no contact rule and aviod him at all times. I guess my question is this, 'has anyone else reconised this kind of behaviour' And do these men ever really move on and accept there actions. Its a year in now and he has gone quiet. I suppecting he has found a new supply. Just wondering if anyone has experienced this in there lives?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2014): Yes I have. Well narcissism doesn't usually stand alone and is likely a symptom of psychopathy/sociopathy. These are not mental disorders but more a character disorder. Like they don't have chemical imbalance in their brain, they are not hearing voices, in fact their brain is pretty normal except for the fact that they just have a severely flawed character or otherwise, no character. My ex boyfriend I am convinced is a sociopath. (I have to convince myself because guys like these rarely ever see therapists unless it is to get something that they want such as a prescription). "Heinous" is not a descriptive enough word of how horrible this man was to me. While telling me that he loved me and posing as my boyfriend he would go behind my back and poison the well for me to all his family and friends. He would constantly tell people that I am crazy, he would mock everything about me to other people, in the presence of one of my friends he once said that I am bad in bed. All the while showing up at my doorstep later with a big smile on his face, maybe even flowers, to take me out to dinner like nothing had ever been said. As people started bringing it up to me I didn't believe it because he would show me such a different side. Yep and the cheating. That's usually a good indicator of a narcissist. Well he would be in contact with all these girls he said were friends. They weren't friends. I found out later they were ex girlfriends, ex hook ups and none of them knew about me. And whenever I brought it up I was "insanely jealous." My favorite of all the things he did was when he hooked up with my best friend, then dumped me, drove 2,000 miles to be with her. All the while denying anything of the sort was going on and calling me crazy. No these men never change. They do not see anything wrong with their behavior. They think the rest of the world is wrong. Just like it is ingrained in you to hold a certain opinion that you believe in strongly whatever that may be, they are the same way but with their devious, corrupt, self centered behavior. The only thing that is noteworthy in better understanding these types of people is that he had a weird relationship with his parents. He implied several times that he may have gotten molested by his own father. That his family had alot of secrets. But yet he remained very very close to his parents who were very controlling and manipulative of him. Which would explain the Jekyl and Hyde personality. His very first understanding of a relationship was with his parents who likely hurt him very gravely but at the same time nurtured him and somehow made it seem like everything was okay and just swept heinous things that were going on under the rug. I think pain and love is indistinguishable to him as he was never shown where one ends and the other begins. There was this over lap between the two in a household that was probably dysfunctional to the top notch.I have a feeling what he did to me, was done to him by his parents.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2014): Yes I had 20 years of it and they never change..and your right yes he will be getting his supply from somewhere else and treating them like dirt. Enjoy the peace and quiet they are horrible, spiteful people and you will always have drama and upset in your life when involved with an idiot like this.
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