A
female
age
41-50,
*tandbyyourman
writes:How many times can one person forgive another for cheating? I have been with my husband for 5 years now and in that time he has cheated on me 4 times that I know of. Twice before we were married and now twice after. I have raised his daughter as my own since she was 13 months old, and she will be 6 in september, we have a 2 year old son together, and I am basically a stay at home mom with no where to go or no one to help. Although I plan to become independent regardless of whether or not I stay or leave...I just wanted to know if anyone else had been through this...and please be gentle as my wounds are still fresh. I know I seem weak or stupid for staying, and I am not even sure I can stay after this last time. How can he love me if he has cheated this many times? Sorry for all the questions but they are only a fraction of the ones I have swirling in my head. Thanks any advice or just personal experience would be appreciated.
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female
reader, ctds001  +, writes (23 June 2010):
Hi Honey,
I married a serial cheater and took on he's daughter at 18 months. I now have a 5 month old baby from my husband.
My problem is I know he was unfaithful, by seeing emails declaring he's love to people. Being out all night and morning but could never find the proof of him having sex. This I though was the most important fact.
But when I got pregnant (unplanned) he made me feel terrible for being tired, and generally making me feel like an awful person for all sorts of things.
With regards to raising he's child he's response was "that's the least you can do". I never felt appreciated even though I was a main bread winner.
Anyway I got to 4 months pregnant and realised if I stayed I would become depressed and a sad mum. So I ended it in order to be the best mum ever.
Only when my baby was 7 days old did I realise the full extent to he's cheating. A girl approached me and told me he had been having an affair with her through out my whole pregnancy and she was also pregnant but had misscarried. Her baby would have been born 3 weeks before mine.
Now I am very happy, a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. But I tried to leave twice before and I went back after 2 months each time.
Anyway everything happens for a reason, and I'm so in love with my baby I don't mind.
Now I am just living for each day and happy.
Can you live with your husbands cheating ways? cheater do not change.. I know you feel a lot of responsibility for he's daughter and it will hurt if you choose to leave but whatever you do do it for YOURSELF!
Good luck, keep us update x
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (23 June 2010):
 No you're not stupid. As human beings we want to fix everything. Unfortunately he will never stop cheating. I dated a serial cheater for about a month, but left because he was planning to cheat. He cheated on every single one of his girlfriends, even the gorgeous and amazing ones. Unfortunately a serial cheater will always cheat. They feel entitled to or something. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. I think the best thing for you though would be to find someone who isn't a cheater. He may claim to love you, but he hurts you a lot, knowingly and he could avoid it. That's not love. There are resources out there to help. Could you maybe stay with a friend while you get back on your feet?
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