A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I started a new job about six months ago and its great. I get on really well with everybody but there is one girl in particular who I've got close to really quickly. We flirt quite a lot at work, and we text each other quite often outside of work, a few people at work have commented on how close we are and we've been asked if anything is going on between us. The thing is, she lives with her boyfriend and has done for a year or so and as far as I know they are happy together. I don't want to come between her and her boyfriend (and probably couldn't even if I did) but I fear that if we carry on as we are, I'm going to end up falling for her. However, if I back off and stop texting her, having a laugh etc. I worry that she (and other colleages) will wonder whats wrong. I really enjoy my job and don't want to do anything to mess that up but I don't want to end up falling for somebody who I can't have, as I've been there before!Do you think I should just be honest with her or would that make things worse and uncomfortable for her? Or can anybody give me any tips on how to back off with the flirting etc without seeming like I'm going cold? Its her birthday next week and I'm going out with some people from work and some of her friends, including her boyfriend and don't want anything to be uncomfortable for anyone.
View related questions:
at work, flirt, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, PeterPan  +, writes (8 May 2008):
 The first suggestion might be to speak with her about this. Explain it just as you have here. If she's mature, then she should completely understand. The workplace is a fragile environment. You want to be social and nice with the people you work with, but there's also an unwritten rule about office romances. It doesn't seem like you've crossed that line at all, but I think that if you two talk, you can express the concerns (maybe minus the falling for her part) and just say that you two should equally tone it down a notch.
Good luck!!
|
