A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:For the past 2 months, I've been dating a co-worker. He's a custodian who specifically is responsible for cleaning/maintaining my office. It's been a bit tough because I work days and he works 3 - 11 pm. He would usually come in to take out my trash/recycling and end up hanging out for awhile. He'd hug me, we'd chat, all was well. He also started to use my fridge to keep his dinner in, my microwave to heat up his food, would hang out in my office during his lunch hour. Prior to us dating, I'm not sure where he kept/heated his food but he always hung out in his car on his lunch break. Our last weekend together (4 weekends ago) was amazing! We connected on a whole new level and I think it scared us both a bit. The following week, he started to withdraw (or so i felt). Granted, part of it was that he was out of town for 2 weekends and had family coming to visit this past weekend but the text messages everyday stopped, he wasn't coming in to hang out with me, basically all the little things he'd been doing and i was counting on since he wasn't going to have weekend time for me, were not there. I didn't want to be needy so I let it got for a week and a half but then pms took over (not an excuse, I know) and i let myself lose all control. I know better than to confront him or anyone when I'm pmsing but.....I became quite emotional and of course it didn't go we'll. He did listen to me though and even accepted part of the responsibility for how I was feeling which I appreciated. All was well again for a few days but then, I was upset at a text message he sent that I thought was rude/selfish. Instead of texting "sorry i didn't call you back last night. i fell asleep" which i already knew, he texted me asking where something was. stupid, i know. I even knew then that I was being overly sensitive but I couldn't stop myself. I called to tell him how I felt and that's when he decided that he needed to "back off a little" (What does that even mean!? Ate we on a break, broken off completely? What?) He said I was too emotional and I knew he was right (Note: I started and knew I was starting continuous birth control after this last cycle in order to help level out the hormones that my dr. said could be causing some of the issue).I have tried to limit contact with him this past week but it's tough since we work at the same school and he has to come in to my room everyday. He's been friendly, he complimented me on how good my jeans fit one day and again on my dress yesterday. We hugged yesterday and he held me for awhile telling me how relaxed he felt with me in his arms. He also told me that when he was in my room on Monday that it smelled like me.He said we needed to take things slow and it was going to take some time but that's hope, right? We even talked about hanging out this weekend but i have a feeling that's not going to happen as he refused to commit to plans. :-/ He's still keeping his food in my fridge, using my microwave, and hanging out in my room, either on the phone or my computer, during his lunch break. If it was really over, over, he wouldn't be doing those things, right? I''d think he'd not want to be in my room where there are constant reminders of me and apparently my scent, right? That's how I'd feel but....I'm a girl and I know guys/girls think differently. Thoughts? Advice? Any way to recover from being overly emotional?
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female
reader, AuntyAunt  +, writes (4 October 2012):
 I think he was scared of a little when you got emotional, and since you guys haven't been together too long he didn't really know how to deal with it. You just need to wait this out and see what happens for now. Take things one step at a time. It already seems like he's coming back to you. I think you'll be okay! I don't think there's a way to 'recover' as such from being overly emotional, just try your best to think quite a bit about what you're going to say before you say it, especially if there's a chance it could have this result again, at least until your relationship is stronger and more stable.Best of luck!
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 October 2012):
 It is still very early days for the both of you so I think all you can do now is wait and see what happens. I think you came on to strong to quick for him and it freaked him out a little so he backed off. I am not sure if you can both recover from this but all you can do now is show him that you are an independent woman and you do not need him to be with you. I think you should concentrate more on maybe heading out with friends or picking up a new hobby. Just take things slow and see how it progresses. Don't hope for anything and you won't get hurt.
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