A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,My girlfriend and I are at a point in our 3 year relationship where it is make or break. Things have been going slowly down hill for a while and the situation has come to a head.She is not sure of the extent of her feelings for me and wether she wants to continue. She still oves me but this love is turining to freindship love. However, she says she is willing to make a go of it and responds to most questions in regards to us as - "I dont know".We fell deeply in love in the beggining and we have lived together for 2 years. I admit I have not been the best in terms of housework and making her feel appreciated all the time. I have not been without my doubts but have got over them. Our sex life has gradually slowed with the relationship.Neither of us want this to end and what we really need is to put the spark back into our relationship before love fades alltogether.I know we need to learn to appreciate each other again and remember why we fell in love with each other. Anymore advice would be greatfully recived. But as we want this to work - please no suggestions of breaking up.Thank you for your time.
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fell in love, sex life, spark Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (2 August 2010):
 Fall in love again . See her from another man's perspective and rediscover the magic of loving her again.
A
female
reader, Oregongrl1  +, writes (2 August 2010):
I don't get it people think you are suppose to be hot and heavy through out the relationship! and if it's not they think something is wrong w/ the relationship or he or she is seeing someone? you said it in your post when you first met everything was real good now things are going slow well it's called life! and it happens that way. there is nothing wrong w/ your relationship if you can understand that we don't always have fireworks!! i think you both are so confused what a true meaning relationship is all about you say she said it feels like its a friendship! that is what it grows into thats what it's all about trust, respect & communication. but it doesn't mean it has to fizzle yes you need to make her feel appreciate it and help her well why don't you cook dinner for her one night run her a bubble bath light some candles in the bathroom and yes put some rose peddles in the bubble bath if you have a Lil radio put it in there too but not close to the tub Lol! you don't have to do it all the time do things different for each other maybe at night get a good book that you both like and take turns reading it to each other every night before you go to bed or just talk in the dark ask her honestly how she feels about ya'lls relationship! talk about things don't be to clingy or smother her i mean if none of that works at least you know you have done everything you could to salvage it now it's up to her what else or you to do? it takes two to make it work!
Best to you both!
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (2 August 2010):
 Get back to the basics. You live together, but can't you two date as well? I'd recommend scheduling weekly time, away from the house, bills, work, life, and just focus on each other. I like date nights. You set it up one week, she does the next, and the one who's not setting it up that week, only has to show up to whatever has been planned. This way you can use creativity and there is an element of surprise.
You need to get back to the foundation of why you two are together. Be flirty. Grab her rear as you walk by, like you probably use to do. Give compliments, but not out of obligation, but out of your sincerity and love for her. I feel the problem you two have is you got stuck in routine. If it's just the some ole crap, different day, your feelings will begin molding in that direction. Set your boundaries, tell each other how you feel and don't let feelings brew without discussing them. You can save your relationship, it's not the easiest to bring it back up, but if she's worth it to you, it's worth the work it will take..
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (2 August 2010):
 It may help you both to take a break from each other, it could be the little things you didn’t do while living together, but it’s about sharing and compromising.
Give her time alone to think what she wants to do and you think too you will either both end up realising what you have in each other or one or both of you will like the independence and move on.
Maybe you both sometimes have to take risks in life to progress further in this relationshiop.
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