A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I met this guy in the beginning of September and we exchanged numbers. We kind of texted each other a little back and forth throughout the month. He mentioned to me that he wasn't looking for a relationship. In October I went over to his house twice. The first time we spent the whole day together just talking and I ended up staying the night and we got sexually intimate. Towards the end of the month he invited me over again and cooked for me, served wine, lighted candles and everything, and I stayed the night again but this time nothing sexual happened. Since then he'll start little texting conversations with me about 2 times a week asking how everything is going, and we'll give each other a little bit of what we've been up to, and he'll be a little flirty in the messages.So, my question is, what is this guy's deal? Does he like me or could he just be using me for something? I understand he doesn't want a relationship but if that's not what he wants then what does it seem like he wants? I feel like if he was interested in me he would contact me more and want to hang out more. Or maybe he would like for me to be the one to initiate hanging out or contact (I usually let guys contact me first)? Does it seem like he wants to date or just meet up every once in a while when he feels like it? Sorry for all the questions, but I'm getting a bit frustrated...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): I was in the same situation. If the guy was interested he would call more because my guy would call every day three times a day but I suggest that you just take things slow, do not rush. Ask what the deal is, I'm sure it can't be that you had sex the first date because if a guy likes you then that really shouldn't matter... but I advise you to just ask him where you stand and initiate contact with him every once and a while, he might like that.. it won't hurt to call.
A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (16 November 2008):
As a female who has been though this I can tell you, this is friends with benefits and it will never change. You will think he might come around, but they hardly ever do.
You made the fatal mistake of sleeping with him and gave your power away. Men know pretty much when they met the right woman. This is classic player and unless you pull away now, this will go on for as long as you know him.
Just tell him that you realized you are interested in a relationship and say you need to move on. He will respect you a lot for that and its possible he might chase you. But keep your strength and don't let him play you with all his charms.
I've got a collection of ebooks that I've bought over the past 2 years about men and relationships and all that, if you're interested I would be happy to sell you all of them for 10.00 with paypal -
Each one cost about 30.00! Just a thought, there's a lot of good advise in these.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): Just thought I'd mention that I'm 23 and he is 28...the age got screwed up somehow when I posted.
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