A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend are having sex problems. When we have sex he tends not to get a "boner" and when he sticks it in it just falls out and its both frustrating for me and him because it just happens over and over till i get tired of it and we stop. Neither him or i get please, and i would like to know if im the problem or him? and if he is the problem then whats wrong with him....Also when we do foreplay he gets a boner but when we about to have sex he don't have a boner no more.whats the actual problem here?
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female
reader, helpjayne  +, writes (16 November 2008):
 go the doctors and they will get him some pills for this, i imagine this is very stressful if he takes a pill within half an hour you'l have a big smile on your face, there are alot of pills out they all cost a bit of money but in the long run it's better than both getting stressed out which will lead to fights.
x
and theres hardly any side effects
A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (16 November 2008):
sounds like he needs a little help with relaxing. set the mood with some chilled music and make the lighting just right. then spend lots of time on foreplay, not always paying attention to just his penis. kiss him all over and tell him how much you love him, want him,etc.
also maybe you should try some different posistions, it may get him more excited and will help him not to keep coming out of you. just make sure he is happy and knows you want him. he may be a little insecure or selfconcious.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): I've got a great idea, sometimes when I feel self concious I won't do things as I normally should and I don't mean just sexually. A good idea would be too put some music on and take your mind off it. I mean it's the same as everything in life, just get things going first and set the mood then things will happen and you will feel the different.......helps me, music solves a lot of issues in my life. Try it, even the TV can help in the background.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): Maybe you should spend more time on foreplay, it's amazing how time can heal.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (16 November 2008):
The fact that he can get an erection during foreplay but not during sex suggests it is an emotional problem rather than a physical one.
Is he tired, or stressed out at work?
If he is feeling scared of it happening then that could be what is making him lose it.
Try sticking to foreplay and make sure that both of you get satisfied just through that for a while. That will take the stress off and might solve the problem.
Good Luck!! xx
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