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female
,
anonymous
writes: There's this bloke that i really like and we've had a little thing going on for nearly a year and we are progressing very slowly! We hang out with the same people and recently he's been coming home with me, though we haven't slept together. I don't sleep around and I don't think he does either.I don't think he's after a one night stand with me because he would have given up by now. But when we see each other we say hi then ignore eachother till the end of the night then he comes home with me. He's also told me he doesn't want a relationship either. So I don't know what he's after. We're very alike in our way of thinking and both like our space and freedom.I think that he's trying to not lead me up the garden path by saying he doesn't want a relationship. I also think he's been hurt in the past and hasn't had a realationship in 9 years! My problem is I'm not sure what he's after. I want a relationship with this man and I'm not sure if I should just sleep with him and get it over and done with, as I think that he's sexually paranoid. So do I sleep with him or wait it out and see if he's going to ask me out? Even though he's had so many chances, but he's also very shy and so am I. And don't want to ask him in case he rejects me and then all our friends will know about it. He is a lovely man and I enjoy his company so much and I don't want to ruin things with him but I'm getting frustrated now. Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2006): I wouldn't make the first move........ keep it going slowly, as he's obviously moving at his own pace if he's the one coming back to yours. Maybe he just wants your friendship and company..... talk to him as much as you can and find out how he ticks, and if its meant to happen then it will, but give him his space otherwise it could ruin the relationship (however small) that you have built up over this length of time..... just go with the flow! And if it does only lead to the odd chat then that's fine because your helping him with his own issues. Good luck
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