A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years we have a baby girl together. The problem is everywhere we go he stares at other women and it makes me feel so unattractive and unwanted, as he never shows me any affection nor love.Nor tells me I'm attractive.It's not just he looks at women. He stares for a little too long, it's really putting me off wanting to go anywhere with him now.Any ideas on what to do thank you Reply to this Question
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male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (29 February 2016):
You do realise that boyfriends and girlfriends are just practice people in our lives, to weed out the good from the bad...right???? Very rare that we meet our life partner the first time.
If you have a guy who does not provide the things you need for a loving relationship...you do what?? Stay with them for three years hoping they will change??
NO...you move on to the next tree and see what kind of fruit that one has to offer. You do not waste your life on someone who is happy doing the the wrong things, or making you feel less about yourself.
You are not going to die if you do not have an unworthy person in your life. The more time you waste with the wrong person, the right person is being taken by someone else.
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (28 February 2016):
 Men always want something to look at. After three years, it would be impractical to ask him to stare at you that way, for a long time. You would just ask him "why are you looking at me like that?" If you confront him about looking at other women, he would deny it, say he's actually checking out the ad signs, and complain that he's already spending time with his family, what more can you ask for.
Men do not respond well by demanding more, "why don't you do this, do that?" But instead, men are suckers for sporadic contact, and unpredictability. That's something that gives him life.
Being not married, does it mean that you can just leave when you don't get along anymore, or you want it to be forever, you just don't like paperwork and the government to be involved? This is important because the difference would show how much he is devoted to you. If a man makes the decision to marry, he's forsaking others and making his wife a priority. I know that some married men stray but it's this solemn union that would stop many from doing it. Married life is the opposite of sporadic and unpredictability. What it comes down to is, can your boyfriend act affectionate because he wants to make you happy, or does he need the push pull game because in a marriage, there is no room for games. You are a unit now, there's no separate vacations, separate living.
How often do you see a man, woman, and a baby in the carriage and also public affections? I would say rarely. Maybe if the baby's asleep at night then they can sneak in some alone time, in between interruptions of the baby crying. Maybe your boyfriend is sleep deprived, feel a little bit trapped in this domestic situation and wants to fantasize he's single again. Maybe unknowingly he thought you have a baby already, you are satisfied and don't need anything else, like affection. You can initiate physical contact. If he pushes you away, that's not a good sign. Fortunately the baby grows up and would allow you more free time.
I think the love between you is more important than wondering if you are still attractive to him. There will always be more attractive women around. Supermodels who gave birth to babies would have to accept that their prices will be lower, and that they are not the queens anymore.
You can tell him you don't feel like going out with him anymore because he stares at other women. At the same time you are worried that this will pull you away even further. Be aware that some men never change. It is a compulsive behavior to stare. Sometimes staring doesn't even give them pleasure. Whether this relationship survives will be determined by how much he cares about your happiness. Some men make babies not because of love, and that is the shocking truth. They make babies because they want them, and the mom is trustworthy.
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