A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:About 3 years ago now, me and my ex-boyfriend split up when he went to College 2 1/2 hours away from where we live.. (his decision to split up not mine) after going out for around 7 months. He was my first love, so I did fall hard for him at the time, and was devastated when we split up. We've always got on well since, although have rarely seen eachother (twice since the split), but in the past when we have spoken via email (which also isnt often), he has said he still finds me attractive, sometimes asks if I have a boyfriend, and once or twice it has been sexual. I'll occasionly text him if I have a problem, or if I need to ask him a question too. When me and a friend met up with him earlier on in the year, my friend said she thought he was still 'fond' of me, which I was pleased about. He's now finished College, and strangely, I've had to move half an hour away in a nearby town due to work commitments. I know from a friend of his, that he's still single, and would like a girlfriend. I guess you could say that I've never really moved on (even though I have been with other guys since), but I still like him, and I keep thinking about if we got back together again, and how perfect it would be. I know it may be quite difficult with us both working, but we could see eachother at weekends. I just don't know what to do about it, I don't want to tell him I like him still, I'd prefer just to meet up and see what happens... but obviously, it may take a few times for us to meet up IF anything is likely to happen, but I don't want to seem to desperate or clingy at the same time.. I somehow need to see if he still likes me too. He very rarely comes online, and he isn't very good at texting me back. I don't really know how to go about it, cause there wouldn't really be any reason why I'd be going to where he lives for a day out... although I did text him in the week asking if he fancied meeting up, but he was working. I'm just wondering what you guys think I should do? Does it sound like he likes me? Shall I go for it and see what happens? Any ideas on what I could say to meet up with him? Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2009): Well, I don't see any thing in your post that makes me think that he is thinking of dating you, it sounds like he is a big flirt and likes the attention you have given him.
He may be a bit lazy and since you haven't lived near him, he isn't going to pursue anything.
You mentioned that you already sent him a text asking if he would like to meet but he was working? So he told you no? Did he suggest another time?
I don't really like text messaging as a way of communication, especially if you haven't been close in three years.
I don't think you have anything to lose really by asking to visit him where he lives. I would maybe ask him for a cofee or something during the day that has a set time limit maybe even lunch, that way if you or he feels uncomfortable it isn't so awkward to know when to leave the date.
After you do something like that though, I would put it on him to ask you to do something next...otherwise you will never know if he is really interested in you or he is being nice and taking you up on your offers....
I don't think I would say to him that you have never gotten over him. You could say that you are really happy to see him after all this time and you could do another cool thing and bring up your stories from the past.
It is great to have some shared history or having been fromthe same home town, it gives you something special in common, which makes it easier to find some common ground and develop a relationship.
Just don't get ahead of yourself and start building this up into your fantasy, let the relationship take it's natural course and you will know if he likes you by what he does.
I hope it works out for you.
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