A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Aunts and Uncles, My boyfriend and I are high school sweethearts, we've been dating for over two years now and while we've gotten really physical, we haven't had sex yet, although we are ready to. We intend to soon - with protection, we are prepared consenting adults. I don't know exactly when but we are both virgins and I was wondering if anyone on the internet could give us some advice. I'm 5'4'' and in general petite and he's 6'4'' and was a linebacker so you can imagine the significance of our size difference will that affect it at all? I usually have to stand on my toes to kiss him I'm not exactly sure how well that would line up. I'm also a little scared about my first time, any advice on how I could please him while having sex? I've never done it before but I don't want to be bad at it. Any and all advice on different things that would work for lovers with a height difference and just learning would be greatly appreciated. Please and thank you.
View related questions:
both virgins, petite, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2013):
Too many fret over how they will perform their first time or if they will please their partner. If you spend all the time leading up to your first time panicking over this, you’re doomed to live up to your worst fears. Be calm. Take some deep breaths, and realize that this is a beautiful, special experience for the both of you. Great sex means that both parties are satisfied and having fun. So, make sure you listen to your partner. Take it slow. Start with some foreplay, and truly bond with your partner. Take a short break after your first time, and if your partner is up for it, give it another try. Sex is a beautiful, fun experience. Ditch all of the worry and stress, and enjoy the ride.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2013): All you need to know for your first time is relax, and enjoy it, its meant to be fun :) the only thing I could say is lots of foreplay, don't rush into it because if your not into it enough it'll be horrible, just take your time and again enjoy it
Ok you are virgins and this situation is perfectly normal so tell your partner you want to take it slow. (that also adds romance) Have your partner finds things of interest to you that makes you tingle inside that you want to have sex, after the first few times it will come about like a game. During sex, be as optimistic as you can.
The most important sex tip for being a great lover is to learn how to communicate in bed. For nervous first timers, it might seem more natural to stay silent; dirty talk can be intimidating. Try saying, "That feels good" or just moaning a little when you like something. Be observant of your partner as well - if they're quiet and still, you might want to try something different. You can ask, "Does that feel good?" or "Can I try..." Most importantly, speak up when something doesn't feel good. Sex can and should give both of you pleasure.
:) have fun
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2013):
aww thats so cute. it is a big step but make sure you have fun with it dont b too stressed just relax and enjoy each others company, explore each other and the rest will just happen but most of all enjoy it together by being honest and respecting each others opinion .Pay enough attention to foreplay. it's probably more important than the act of intercourse itself. At least 45 minutes. Go slowly, too. Have fun!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2013): Choosing to be in a sexual relationship is a big decision.
I’m assuming you have talked about birth control and pregnancy protection as prepared consenting adults.. The most important thing about deciding to have sex or not is not to rush into anything. Think about your decision carefully and weigh the pros and cons. Your relationship with this potential partner will have a lot to do with your decision.
You should ask yourself what your reasons for want sex are. There are lots of bad reasons. Some good ones you may relate to are:
You want to show your affection to your bf.
You are attracted to your bf.
You’re in love and it feels right
You want to experience physical pleasure.
You see it as a sign of commitment
You’re curious and want to experiment
You think it might be fun
you feel like now is the time to take it to the next level
You see it as a way to strengthen your relationship
It’s important to let your partner know what you want — and what you don’t want — before things get sexual. This may not be easy. Maybe it seems like having sex is something that should “just happen.” In fact, you need to be clear about what you want. Your partner can’t read your thoughts. Talking with your partner is very important.
Things to talk about with your partner. What do you hope for during and after the big event? You or your partner may have opposite wishes for the first time -- from just getting it over with to making love. Make sure you are on the same page. Also discuss what you expect afterwards: Do you want to be held? Do you want sex to continue in your relationship? Do you and your partner expect to continue having sex with each other? What do you want sex to be like?
Why do you want to have sex in the first place?
Where you have sex is probably a more important decision. Find a place where you both can be private for up to forty-eight hours.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2013):
If you find that you both want to do it.. then it'll just happen. Remember to talk about it prior, because if you aren't comfortable talking about it with each other then you shouldn't do it..
You'll probably want it to be somewhere special.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2013): Communication is important in any relationship. Communication before and during sex for the first time is important. Before sex share your hopes, share your fears. It is the act of sharing your desires and anxieties that will, ironically, act to reduce them or, perhaps, eliminate them altogether. Knowing, for instance, that you both worry about "being any good" will act to eliminate this anxiety because you will feel less pressure related to performance. As sex tips for virgins. Virgins tend to be more anxious about overall sexual performance . What is a good performance? A good performance occurs when both parties enjoy the experience. The secret to giving a good sexual performance is concentrating on your partner and ensuring they receive as much pleasure as you are able to give.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2013): That is great about you and your boyfriend being high school sweethearts and taking your relationship to the next level. Glad your prepared as consenting adults.
Here is some advice about the first time.
Get in the mood. Don’t be scared about the first time. This is supposed to be fun, so relax and enjoy it. First time sex can indeed be a wonderful experience if you talk through your reservations.
Introducing a romantic element is a key to enjoying first time sex. Dim the lights hand have romantic music is to set the mood and facilitate intimacy. Appropriate music can influence our body’s electrical conductivity, pulse rate, blood pressure and circulation, which are all components of sexual excitement and pleasure. The flow of the music, and even its lyrics, can help you feel more connected to your partner during your first experience. Choose a place where you feel safe and comfortable, a bedroom may be the best place. Start when you feel ready. Be romantic, cuddle, kiss softly, and whisper sweet things.
When you're planning to have sex, an hour or two spent cuddling and kissing, gently touching each other in a loving way, is a good way to relax and get ready. Now begin fully clothed.
Take your time to undress and admire naked body. Look into the eyes of your partner intently. Slowly undress your partner while touching. Kiss every time you take off article of clothing to reassure your partner you are doing it gently and slowly and to set the mood. After undressing your partner, slowly lead him or her to the bed and lie down for a few minutes whilst caressing the body.
You might want to think about starting it off with a nice massage. What is important is your feeling for each other. Focus on making it a great experience for each other. Start slowly. Be aware that the objective of a massage is to relax your partner. To start with, use gentle movements that barely touch the body so your loved one will get goose bumps and be ready for unforgettable feelings that still await. The basic guideline for a massage is touch and it is therefore important that you touch your partner all the time. This means that you try to maintain permanent contact with fluids and movements while you explore the body of your partner, which will also increase the level of intimacy. If your not already naked you could for instance, take off your clothing while you give a massage and slide your genitals over the partner’s back.
Be playful. Relax, loosen up and have fun with your first time. Play around with each others bodies and various body parts. Tickle each other, if you want. Just make sure you laugh a lot. Engage in prolonged foreplay. Foreplay is a very important step to great sex. Explore each others entire bodies, kissing all around the face, neck, back, everywhere. everything should be really slowed down and passionate. breathing heavy when you are kissing the neck Slowly caress each other. Focus in on the sensations. You may want to incorporate some massage techniques such as "light touching" (using your fingers as though they were spider legs) or "sliding" (long strokes that float over your partner's body). Play with your lover's hair—head and body hair—pull it gently. Outline the other's ear with a fingertip while kissing. Your hands may knead your partner's buttocks or stroke the crease between them.
Don’t have too-high expectations. Sex generally improves as you get to know someone and become more comfortable with each other’s bodies. So don’t feel pressured to make it the best night ever, because this is just the first of many. First-time sex can be tense and nerve-wracking, not to mention painful sometimes. Taking long, deep breaths can help you relax and let go. The first time you’ll probably both be a bit nervous. You want everything to be perfect and the first time to be amazing. So you might both be a bit tense and serious. Try to keep the mood light. Humour and sex are a perfectly good mix!
Don’t forget to enjoy foreplay. All the stuff that leads up to intercourse — kissing, touching, oral sex — is part of the sexual experience; it’s not just about penetration.
Speak up. Let him know what feels good, and what doesn’t. Guys crave feedback, so don’t be shy about clueing him in. Don’t fake it. If you do, you’ll only be cheating yourself. Letting him know you came close and want to get there with him will keep him motivated.
There are lots of creative ways to make up for a difference in size. For a tall guy and shorter girl…
If a tall guy sits upright with his legs outstretched he can lean against the headboard of the bed for support. His shorter lover can straddle him and lower herself onto his penis. This face-to-face pose is perfect for kissing, and, since you're both sitting, the height discrepancy is negated or minimized.
This position is for the tall guy to sit cross-legged with the short gal wrapping her legs around his waist, and arms around his neck. Again, your faces are up against each other, making it easy to engage in some passionate lip locking. And, your bodies pressed against each other create a lot of intimacy.
Spooning is another highly intimate and comforting pose. The gal lies on her side in a semi-fetal postion with her taller lover lying behind her in the same configuration. After penetration, the tall guy can cradle his gal in his arm and nuzzle her neck as he thrusts from behind .
These are both girl-on-top positions, you’re in charge. So be sure to vary the speed and angle of penetration to find the moves that give you maximum stimulation.
Spooning is another great height-equalizer. Lie on your side in a semi-fetal position, and have your boyfriend lie behind you in the same configuration. This is another highly intimate, comforting pose. Once he enters you, he can cradle you with his arm and nuzzle your neck as he thrusts from behind.
Sex is all about trial and error. Since no two people are alike, every couple needs to experiment to find what works best for them. Just try to stay focused on how much fun it is to try new things, rather than getting hung up on moves that don’t work.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2013): My mom is 5'4 (if that)... my dad is 6'5... must've worked for them because they went on to get married and have three kids :)
Don't sweat it.
...............................
A
female
reader, angel91  +, writes (31 July 2013):
Me and my fiance are the same - I'm 5'5" and slim, and he's 6'4" rugby player. We've never had a problem with height/body differences.
For our first time, I was on top. It wasn't premeditated, it just happened that way. There's no problem with him on top - he can support himself no problem. We've also mastered standing (sometimes with the help of some stairs to even us up), and doggy standing too.
With time you'll figure out what works and what doesn't for you both. Not every position works for every couple, but you'll learn with experience. Just keep it simple for your first time and enjoy it :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Got Issues +, writes (31 July 2013):
 You'll be horizontal so I can almost guarantee you the height difference won't matter. If you do want to try things like standing up, your height would actually be an advantage, as he could pick you up easily.
The first time is generally quite awkward and uncomfortable, especially if both are virgins, so don't be disheartened if it doesn't feel so nice. You need to persevere because the best way to get "better" at sex is to get to know your partner's body and understand what he likes and, equally importantly, what you like.
Try to relax as much as possible and just go with the flow.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (31 July 2013):
 Dear OP, the height difference is totally irrelevant , and you can trust a 5'3" woman with a marked preference for very tall guys . Think about it : during intercourse you don't line up at the shoulders, or at the ankles , right ? What you line up are your crotches - so all it will happen is that your feet won't reach his feet but 10 inches over , which, unless you are standing, does not matter. The only position which could create some difficulty is actually standing up, because he would have to flex his knees quite a bit and that 's not very comfortable,...but I would not recommend it anyway for a first time. Start traditional and build up your acrobatics in time:) .
Perhaps the WEIGHT difference would be a factor, if he does not support himself steadily with his arms all the time...you may risk ending up like Wily Coyote after the anvil :). Hey,just kidding. And if he is really SO heavy, ...you can always stay on top.
As for " not being bad " on your first time, - relax. Don't even think about the technicalities ! If you start focusing on " am I doing it right ? " " do I look good from this angle ?" " what can I do to impress him ?", you are going to make your first time anxiety ridden and miserable.
Focus on your sensations, and let your body inner wisdom guide you, it will be fine. Hey it's your first time ! Nobody is born trained- in anything. He won't expect from you experience, speacial skills, or porn star moves. So what if the first time you won't be a sex goddess,- practice makes perfect, and you can pick up the technicalities by practicing.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2013): I was totally in your shoes at one point. My ex and I were VERY different in body. I being about your size, my ex being about your boyfriend's size. Our first time, I was on top mainly because he couldn't handle the pressure on his knees and elbows. But I do suggest being on top for your first time because you can pretty much control everything. Your legs will likely be spread out a little further than usual and that in itself will be uncomfortable, along with the sensation of him penetrating you. Since he was part of the football team, his arms should be fit enough to handle traditional missionary (man on top). When he's on top and you are a little more experienced with each other, I suggest putting your legs on his shoulders. The feeling that creates... well, you'll find out later. ;-) Doggy style is another favorite of mine if he has enough girth.
Good luck and use protection! :D
...............................
|
