A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my bf of 2 years, well he broke up with me a few days ago so i should say ex bf.Anyways he regrets breaking up with me and wants to get back together, i do too but with all the problems we have and all the fighting the past few months I don't know where to start fixing our relationship.I'll just tell you a bit of what's been going on the past few months before he broke up with me.Well the main problem is me.I kept pushing him away (not sure why so don't ask me why). That was mostly the problem because i kept pushing him away and the more he was clingy the more I pushed him away.We both really want this to work out, even through all the fighting and such. Right now we're taking our time to let things heal.Any advice on where to get started on fixing our relationship?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionProbbly not enough affection, but it was because after a bit he got to clingy, when he did I felt suffacated.
And no its ok to put the blame on me, because alot of it IS my fault, and i blame myself. The communication isn't all that great, I'm not the type of person to open up, and when I try I can't do it.
When I'm upset with him I tell him i'm not mad but he insist on me telling him why i'm upset which starts a fight.
I don't need to ask why he broke up with me I already know why he did, and i don't blame him for breaking up with me.
Thanks for your answer
A
female
reader, MissTellAll  +, writes (18 June 2011):
 How often do you let him know that you care?
Usually when people cling it's because they're afraid of losing whatever it is they're clinging to. Maybe he didn't think you were showing him any affection. Were you?
I'm not trying to pin this whole thing on you, I'm sure he has his things that irk you, or just irritate you to no end.
How's the communication? When one of you is upset, do you talk or just start a fight over something trivial? For a relationship to work you have to be able to say 'This is upsetting me, and I want to fix it.' instead of just yelling at each other.
Ask him exactly why he decided he wanted to break up. Ask him what really set him off to end things. Listen to him, don't interrupt, don't judge. Listen.
I hope this helps, good luck.
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