A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm going through a really difficult emotional time in my life. When I'm outside, I'm fine, I'm productive. But when I'm home, I lose the drive, energy and just contemplate on my problems. It's not helping because it makes me sad, torn, confused and next thing I know hours passed thinking and re-thinking about solutions completely wasting most of my whole day. I want to stop this habit. I want to take action but I feel very very weak and incapable of things. Any mental mantra I should think to stop this? Any advice to stop this self-defeating attitude? Thanks! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (21 January 2015):
Dear OP,
I know those phases too well.
Maybe there's not a good "mantra" that can solve your problems. Because your problem might come from various sources:
A) You might be depressed and saving all your energy for work. So you need to get out of this state before you can take action. As it's winter and this might be a seasonally affected state, you could try light therapy. Or psychotherapy. Or both. Lack of vitamin D might also be adding to the problem.
B) Maybe your work is productive, but so challenging that you're completely exhausted in your free time.
C) Maybe it's too boring at home. Do you have hobbies, good books, a pet, plants, tv series etc. that could distract you from negative thoughts when you're at home alone? Also, it's a better idea to plan in advance what you're going to do every evening, than to just come home, drop your bags and realize there's nothing to do.
D) Maybe you need to spend more free time with other people and distract yourself. Instead of sitting home alone and thinking dark thoughts.. how about inviting people over for dinner? Or organising a game/movies night? Going dancing?
E)Maybe you need to process and analyse your problems in a deeper way than just thinking about them. A diary might help to get the worries off your chest and to not repeat yourself too much. A big poster with your problems and the possible options to solve them might bring clarity. A pro-con list about a decision you have to take might bring you closer to your preferred choice. To reach out to a friend or counsellor might help, too.
I hoped this helped.
Good luck!!
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