A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met an amazing girl online a few months back.I know ALL the issues about online (risks I mean).We talk a lot on the phone too.My worry is that I am too insecure to keep things going until we actually meet.(we don't live too far away from each other, but for various reasons we haven't met yet...and I am glad as it could have an effect on my college work if I am not careful.She really does seem to want to meet, and we seem to have a lot in common. There's not much that can go wrong, other than of course we meet and decided not to go forward. I really believe though that it can work. But I am a bit of a worrier in general, and a big time worrier when it comes to relationships.Any advice on how, to, I don't know, worry less when it comes to relationship issues? Or in general? I am not really wanting advice about my specific case with her, just giving context
View related questions:
insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 November 2011):
 Worry less? Stop predicting or hoping for a certain outcome. Just let things happen.
If you are too anxious, talk to your doctor about addressing that issue, there are many ways to deal with that.
In general, here are my tips
Recognize that life does not offer guarantees. Some one could run into you on a distant highway or you could simply be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
As it seems you have set up your own worry machine, take the power out of it and just meet up with her! A couple of things could happen. You hate each other on sight. Well then, meeting now will save you from wasting more of your time. You like each other but don't know how to proceed. Well then, now you know you have something to build on beyond mere fantasy and can go from there.
You meet up and you freak out. That means you need to address that issue. Find out why you get upset or are so worried. Now would be a good time. Life is really short, I have to tell you. Don't waste it on fantasy or worry. That's a total waste of time, okay?
Good luck.
A
female
reader, cecelolcatz +, writes (4 November 2011):
 Remember that in a relationship generally your partner is almost as anxious as you are, and as long as you be yourself you should be okay. Also- everything is A LOT more awkward in person than on a phone: chances are, she is will be nervous too. I am pretty young so i don't have a whole lot of experience in relationships, but everything i have told you is from all of my past relationships.
...............................
A
male
reader, 3much4u +, writes (4 November 2011):
I personally am not a big fan of the "blind date" thing. You mentioned that you have met online and so far it has been good. Maybe you should stop worrying a bit. no one knows how this will turn out,(good or bad) but all relationships start like this, the important thing is that you give it a try. If after you guys have met and you don't want to go forward then there are ways of communicating that to her.Judging by your comments I can probably conclude two things (I may be wrong) 1.) You probably need to show a bit more confidence in meeting her, girls don't generally like indecisive men. so boost up your confidence if your feeling a little nervous.2.) You are probably nervous that you might meet this girl and then not like her in person. (I personally had this problem once) I got over by being more friendly to girls that I wasn't attracted to and being able to communicate my feelings in a clear respectful way that I wasn't into them. (It worked for me)In closing try not to anticipate the worst but just keep an open mind and don't be judgemental. It is important that you meet her and everything works out. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (4 November 2011):
 How to worry less about relationship issues in general?
I don't know: you might try getting more absorbed in other activities you enjoy doing - hiking, going to concerts etc., getting more involved in causes you care deeply about....there's always some risk involved any time you meet someone new - nothing in life is guaranteed. As the slogan goes "you pays yer money and you takes yer chances."
As for this girl you're (maybe) interested in, why not either meet in person - (how much time do you want to take before meeting anyway?) or end it. In other words, is it time now to either "fish or cut bait"??
...............................
|
