A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, this is probably gonna be a very loooong mail, but please bare with me...i need help and advice urgently!Im 22years old, the eldest of 3daughters. My sister next to me(Sonia*), is 20yrs old. We grew up in a christian home, my father was a pastor. My youngest sister(Charmie*) is turning 14 this year. My parents seperated when she was still very young, due to my dad putting church before his family. My mom couldnt handle it, and she asked for divorce. it was quite rough.We're all grown up now and its only Charmie that stays with my mom. My dad stays in another town, about an hour away.My dad comes to visit us often. My mom is raising Charmie on her own. We've been noticing that Charmie is kind of getting rebellious lately. Sonja and i grew up in a strict home. We respect people and are responsible. Charmie is the complete opposite. She does not respect anyone...she talks to people as she pleases. She started drinking alcohol and hanging with the wrong friends. She curses and is just unbearble.As her older sister, i think that its my obligation to help her. I dont want her to be like this. Where will she end up?The other day, charmie had a friend over, my fiance was also there, we were all visiting at my moms place. And charmie told her friend.."do you know that my sister and her fiance are sexually active". I wasnt in the room at the moment, but my fiance told her that its not right for her to say such things, but she just said that he shouldnt tell her not to say that because its the truth.He told me about it afterwards, and i was really disappointed. I mean does she have that little respect for us? we never talk about intimacy infront of her, she's never caught us doing anything. and even if she did, i dont think its something to be talked about. As her older sister, she should respect me. She should respect her elders. Doesnt matter who they are.My mom does everything for her. there are days when my mom leaves her own stuff, just to accomodate Charmie. She manupilates my mom. she doesnt listen to my mom. she doesnt help around the house. All she does is sleep, go out with friends, and eat. Whenver she is asked to do something, she never does it.She is resrepectful, irresponsible, ungrateful. She is a good kid. I love her, but i just want her to start appriciating the people around her. She is a teenager, i understand that. but is it really necesary for her to think nothing of anyone? I need advice...i want to talk to her. but i dont know what to say exaclty. should we send her to a councillor? Is it because my dad has been absent from her live?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you guys...all your answers makes alot of sense.I appriciate it.
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