A
female
age
30-35,
*aileyLove
writes:Crushes, ugh! It happens even to the best of us, but... one question still remains does he/she like me back? Only a few ways to find out... asking for his/her phone number, making the first move, hanging out alot more, or, simply, asking.So... I am actually crushing on someone at the moment. In fact, I met him about 3 weeks ago (well, I didn't MEET him, I saw him.) Regardless, he turns out to be my dad's best friend's son, I'm in luck! Most people may think that at this point it would be a piece of cake to hang out with him, true, but, actually getting to find out if he likes me back, difficult.I'm more... reserved. I'm not blunt, nor am I outgoing at times. So, how do I get to know him better? Any advice? Last time I saw him he was staring at me, but that's not enough proof. My dad said that he'll "talk" to his dad and we just "happen" to be introduced since I'll be seeing him next week. Doesn't that seem a little odd though? My friends think that I should ask for his number. What if he has a girlfriend? I'd feel so stupid. But, my plan is to be "introduced" then just... talk. Eventually he and I will get to know each other better and maybe I'll wait until he asks for MY number, or I'll just ask if he ever wants to hang out.I hope he doesn't have a girlfriend, that would be so depressing.Any advice for a girl who's badly crushing on a guy?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010): Well, i don't think you should ask for his number too early. Instead give him a sense of control and the freedom to pursue you or not. But be enticing (so he'll want to be with you) and be non-intimidating (so he'll be courageous enough to ask your number).
Don't let him know how much you're into him. Act natural/comfortable but use some subtle hints of body language such as looking into his eyes and smiling, and if you're comfortable, try some gentle flirting like touching his arm when you laugh. Hopefully, find something you both enjoy and create some interesting conversations. Listen to him well and make him feel important, laugh at his jokes and compliment him.
In the end, you don't want to be seen as desperate, you want him to know what a great catch you are and what a nice person you are on top of that. It'll be his loss if he doesn't go after you.
If he seems not really into you or want to get your number or ask you out, be patient for a few more meetings. Since your dad knows him, you can find reasons to meet up with him. If there's still no move from him after a while, maybe you can lead your conversation into something like "you know there's this really cool ..(insert event/movie/exhibition).. that i want to go see, but i don't want to go alone" and see if he takes the hint.
All the best of luck sister. And let me know how it goes.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010): An easy way to find out if he has a girlfriend would be to wait for a point in a conversation to say something along the lines of "but won't your girlfriend be mad" or some mention of his girlfriend. If he does, the conversation will flow normaly. However, if he doesn't, he will be able to read your reaction like a picture book. If you want him to know your intentions go ahead or lead him on with something such as "oh, ok." If you want your feelings hidden, say "oh, nevermind," and change the topic
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010): An easy way to find out if he has a girlfriend would be to wait for a point in a conversation to say something along the lines of "but won't your girlfriend be mad" or some mention of his girlfriend. If he does, the conversation will flow normaly. However, if he doesn't, he will be able to read your reaction like a picture book. If you want him to know your intentions go ahead or lead him on with something such as "oh, ok." If you want your feelings hidden, say "oh, nevermind," and change the topic
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