A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is it wrong for me to feel annoyed at my boyfriend for not being able to talk to me? Our work schedules conflict so we can't always see each other in person. He doesn't have a cellphone, doesn't have internet, or any other way of contacting me. He lives about an hour away, so just stopping by and HOPING he's there is a little too much. He has a job, but has to pay bills and doesn't have enough for a decent cell or internet. If he can't afford it is it wrong that im annoyed by it? What can I do about this? Thanks! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010): I don't think you are being unreasonable, and I can completely understand why you would be feeling the way you do. When you are in a relationship with someone, communication and contact is important. It keeps the connection alive and helps you feel close to that person. Without it, you start to feel alone in the relationship, and it can even bring up feelings of annoyance and resentment. So your feelings are understandable.
As for what to do, does he know exactly how much this is troubling you? Does it trouble him too? Or is he happy with the way things are? I think you should tell him how much this is affecting you, and see what he says. Although money may be a problem for him, I think that, with a bit more effort, something can be arranged, some way of having even a little bit more contact with you. If you are both determined enough, there will be a way. Could he not borrow someone's phone? Or use a pay phone? Or arrange times for you to meet up? Could you both try and be more flexible at work?
If he is not wiling to try and find some solutions though, and he is content to leave the situation as it is, I am not sure how happy you are going to be in the relationship. I have experienced lack of contact in a relationship, and after so long of that my feelings gradually just turned from annoyance to indifference...I just got tired of it. So I do think something needs to be sorted, and he should agree to make some kind of effort. I do hope things work out for you.
A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (16 August 2010):
Im not going to point out your wrong! i think what you are is just a Little disappointed? and you sound like you understand! just put a little money a side and try to figure out a cell phone that would be nice for him and would be able to give you a ring a ding ding. don't let that come between you.
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, LauraxLeex  +, writes (16 August 2010):
Its very unusual for someone to have NO means of communication at all.
How does he call in sick to work?
What if a family member of his was involved in a crisis?
Personally, I think you have every right to be annoyed.
This is a tricky one, on the one hand I think you may be being lied to by this man, on the other, I think he might just be stuck in a bad job, with low pay and genuinely have no means of contact.
So what are your options?
Well I guess you could give him an old cellphone as a gift, Ask your friends and family if they have one to spare.
That way he has no excuse for not being in contact with you.
Or
You sit down and tell him how this situation is making you feel.
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