A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi :) please help me. The more answers the better I think. Anyway I've been in a 2 year relationship. Its been crazy. Of course we had our UPS and downs. But during all of this our plan was to move in together and become students. I moved out of my mothers house and I thought well maybe since he seems to always talk about it he'll move in. But he didn't. I didnt wanna force it on him either. Some things that I've noticed in the relationship is he pushes me aside a lot..he can be helpful but only if I ask.usually dont ask because he'll throw it in my face later.the last year has been hell. Cheating lying emotional abuse and manipulation. But today I changed my # today I decided to leave this town and start fresh with my sister who is married with an amazing man who is in the Navy.she has a daughter.and well basically its bittersweet. I told him I didnt want a long distance relationship. And I dont really want that much contact..he seemed indifferent..he said, "I'm not gonna tell you to stay I won't be selfish, do whatever makes you happy" I might not sound sad but inside im crushed...in reality im crushed..and i cried..but am i being mean or unkind by not giving him my #? I told him we can talk on fb. I kinda did that on purpose because he never wanted to be my friend on fb. Kind of reminds me of the quote "first they make fun of you,then they laugh at you then they fight you then you win".. I feel like I've taken so much of his bs. To even feel a little bit of pity for him..God forgive me..but i can't be nice anymore. :'(
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female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (8 June 2013):
 Why would you want to stay with someone who cheats, lies and manipulates? I'm confused.
My advice, don't give him your number, move out, move on and move away from him.
What he is doing is called a putting you on a guilt trip...do not fall for it. Yes you guys had a some good times...but it's over now. You don't deserve to be treated like trash.
It will take time, but forget him...and move on. Good things await you ahead. Start a new life...and just keep no contact with him. You'll see...your quality of life will improve.
Wishing you well.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2013): Things didn't work out. There is no reason for pity from either side. He's going to be the tough guy and act as if he doesn't feel a sense of loss and a little regret.He'll also put on a little puppy-face to make you feel like you're the bad-guy. You know better than that, don't you?He moved on before you did. You're just catching up. You handled everything like a pro. You were true to yourself.You were patient with him, and showed sensitive when it was necessary. You can't make other people match your feelings. They have to feel what they feel when it arises within them.He didn't show respect, he put you down, and he didn't man-up with the situation called for it. You witnessed it first-hand. Move on. You don't need him to put a guilt trip on you now. Maintain the limited contact by Fb as you have intended.You are a very sensible person. Don't second guess yourself.What have you done to feel guilty about? Nothing.If you were mean, insensitive, or selfish; then you should feel bad. Don't offer him a means of slow punishment and easy access to slow down your process of moving forward.DON'T!!!You gave him opportunity. You showed him patience, and consideration. These are the traits and characteristics of a smart and good person.Facebook is available to the public for those who wish to stay abreast of your life events. He missed the opportunity, and things worked out for the better. You wouldn't have been happy and he you got a preview of what life would have been like living with him. He isn't going to change; and although sentiments run high, you made the right decision. Good luck with your new life and re-location. I hope a lot of women and girls follow your example. You did what you know is right. You didn't just settle and risk your own happiness; while unrealistically hoping things will change. You faced reality and made a wise choice.You will miss him because you miss the "good" times. They didn't out-weight the bad times; and it's not your fault.
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