A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone. I need your advice because my emotions are all over the place right now. Back in school I had a guy best friend and we remained so for 3 years. 8 years later we are both married but because of our friendship, remained in contact - phone contact all this while. Now about a month ago out of the blue he wants us to meet. 'What for?' I ask but then I think I have an idea why he wants to see me. Since then, he calls me everyday and emotions are running high which I'm not in control of. Yes I did like him then but this is consuming. I know I'm married and all so why these high tension btw my best friend and I. He just last month revealed to me that he had always been in love with me. I need some perspective.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks unknown2u, you have the right picture. A couple of years away I'll possibly be less attracted to him, but thing is I've been in love with this guy with my hb was looking more to settle down in a comfortable and reliable relationship but a for being in love I'm pretty sure were my heart is. Having said that I don't intend to leave my hb - we have 3 kids but I'm just confused aboutmy feelings and may need to see my friend to clear my head once and for all.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2011): The thing is do you love your husband?if yes than why run after a feelings that your not sure about.make sure its love and not just a friendship love you have for each other coz in end you might loss a good friendship b'coz of feelings.
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A
male
reader, unknown2u  +, writes (11 November 2011):
You haven't given us any insight into your marriage. I'll make some guesses anyway. You've been married for a few years, the honeymoon is over, and you're at the low people term the "seven year itch" (which doesn't necessarily hit at seven years). It's boring, and the thrill of being young where everything is new has suddenly been resurrected by your friend's confession. All sorts of 'what ifs' are in your head, and an adrenelline rush is coming from your heart.
The school days are, in hindsight, heady times, particularly when compared to the routine of adult married life. It's natural to feel the thrill, and to yearn for the more carefree times of the past. Consider that. Think it through. Keep in mind that every relationship starts with that high and then troughs when complacency sets in. If you leave your husband for this guy, you're likely going to be in the same place in a few years. Will you be any further ahead then, rather than working through this with your husband?
After the thrill is gone, you're left with a relationship that's built on common experience, hardship, caring and trust. No, it's not exciting, it's not heady and it's not thrilling. But it is dependable, comfortable and reliable, and it's what sees you through old age.
Just my thoughts.
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