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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and lately he has started giving hints about when and if we should have sex. I freeze each time he mentions this because of what happened when I was 15.I have a sister who is 2 years older than (I'm now 19; she's 21 now) and on my last year of high school and her last year of college she had a boyfriend. I slept with him and she found out and it took a long time for her to forgive me.I freeze because, even though my sister and I are now as best of friends as we were before the incident, I'm scared to tell my boyfriend because he may leave me because he might think I'm a slut, yet I feel that I have to tell him.I really love him and he feels the same for me and I would never be unfaithful to him. I would give anything to have my virginity back so that I could lose it to him. Should I tell him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tine  +, writes (21 August 2006):
 well if he loves you for you then he will accept your problems as well. Truth is that he may no think its as big of a deal as you think it is. The past is the past and if you both love each other then i dont see why you should let this get on top of you. you learn from your mistakes and it sounds as though you have learnt from this one, so talk to him about it ratehr than let it get you down anymore
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2006): Well, he loves you for you...the person he met and knows in this moment of time.
It takes a very loving and forgiving person to be able to realize that you feel remorse, guilt and shame from this past mistake and that you will never do such a thing again.
Since you and your sister worked this out; forgiveness is complete. Stop beating yourself over this incident...forgive yourself. *hugs*
And Sweetie...you were 15, young and foolish like most anyone else on this site.
You have grown in wisdom and in life.
Tell him when you feel moved to do so. Hope for understanding.
I think he will struggle but come around.
Best of wishes.
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