A
male
age
36-40,
*noms
writes:Hi, I'm encountering some problems that I see more and more of lately. Now I'm not a bad looking guy (so I've been told) and I like to weight train. Now here's the catch, the bigger I'm getting the more defensive I feel that women are acting around me, now I don't think I'm imagining this, but I do feel some women I know or work with seem to be going out of their way to get a kick out of putting me down and these are people I would have considered my friends so I'm quite confused. The only difference I see in the way I act and the way my co-workers and friends act towards each other is that I really don't flirt very much. Could this lack of interest be considered rude to some people?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): Hi,
Well, it sounds to me like they're jealous of your motivation and effort that you're suddenly putting in to your image. They probably got too comfortable with the old you and have this stereotypical image of someone who likes to take care of themselves as being vain. I'd tell them exactly how you feel - that way they'll see that you're still you and no more vain than anyone else! Hope this helps :)
A
male
reader, anoms +, writes (22 April 2009):
anoms is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks, and yes i continue to act as gentlemanly as possible and to put others first, and i always act rational as opposed to arguing but i seem to be missing somthing as it isnt enough. i can give you an example, theres this one women i work with that says silly things out of the blue, like calling me out of the office to say "hey you see that(customer) guy over ther? well he's hot!" and she said it infront of two other girls who work their. and whenever i respond to her silly remarks all i here is "oh get over yourself!" which really really anoys me because im very self-conscious and not stuck up in the least
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): I guess some people see bodybuilding as vain and narcissistic. Come to think of it, I don't like much to see a guy who is MASSIVELY built and toned up. Like the guys who compete, and are all fake-tan orange and practice posing :) That really puts me off.
I just suppose in the same way that girls who obsess over diets and weight can be seen as shallow and boring, guys who do A LOT of exercise to achieve this adonis figure might repel some. Or, like the other poster said, they could just be jealous :)
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (22 April 2009):
 Maybe...but I'd need some specific examples of their comments before I could really say. Sometimes when people improve themselves, others get jealous. They liked you better as the chubby dork who hid behind his glasses in accounting. Now suddenly you've transformed yourself into hunk material. Some people may see that as being vain. If you continue to be kind to people they will realize your heart hasn't changed they just have to get used to the new you.
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