A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I fell out with a close friend I became romantically involved with briefly a few years ago. It was a complicated situation but resulted in is not talking for 2 yearsThen he started making the odd text messages occasionally and even after how he treated me I helped him to get a new job So anyway in the new year he messaged me asking to me for a coffee so I agreedIn the text he said he was sorry for how he treated me before, so I presumed the slate was cleanBut the day after we met I thought I was being helpful sending him now useful info relating to the new job and all I got back was 'already got this have a good day ' which I thought was a bit....?Anyway the week after against my better judgement I sent a good luck for the new job after a few hrs he sent 'thanks'My birthday was in January and he sent 'happy birthday by text no happy birthday have a good day etc just that and since then has been distantI'm wondering what I've done?He made it sound like we were on the level now and after 5 weeks now nothingI'm not a bad person but don't understand his behaviour nowI don't want to go through that again so whys he acting like this ?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (21 February 2016):
 So what do you think is the real him? The "sincere" or the "silence"?
Words are cheap. His actions doesn't really match his pretty words do they?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell he was so sincere when he first got in touch saying he was sorry etc and lets start to get to know each other again but has now backed off and acting distant ?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 February 2016):
I agree. This is NOT a friend. This is someone who knows you have been "useful" in the past so worth keeping in touch with here and there.
I'd honestly, just accept that he is an acquaintance and no more... or just cut him lose (which means block & delete his number).
This isn't about what kind of person YOU are, but what kind of person HE is.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (20 February 2016):
I'm sorry to say this, but he used you to help him find a job. He doesn't really have an interest in any kind of friendship with you.
You seem like a very kind woman with plenty of empathy towards others. My suggestion would be to lose his number and don't look back.
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