A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I am in a relationship of just over year with a guy long distance. I am 33 and he is 31. I am currently moving to this town - this involves moving job, renting out my house and leaving most of my friends. Most of his friends are single guys, doing single guy things. They have an active social life at weekends often trips across the country. He invites me on what are basically lad's nights out. I often go along but am feeling like I would rather we spent time with other couples or just us sometimes once we have moved in. To be honest, I feel pretty left out at these events which usually centre around drinking, attempts at pulling girls and general guy suff. They are a nice group, I'm glad he has a group of guy friends and I have nothing against them as people it's just being a female in a committed relationship I don't have much in common with them. During these events feel uncomfortable like I'm pretending to be a lad too. I am happy for him to go out on his own, its just they are frequent so seem to be the priority and he says yes to everything. If I say no, he goes anyways. With work, it just doesn't leave time for much else (we both work long hours). I am feeling like he isn't really at the same life stage as me and might never be even after I move in - for him it's still the priority whereas most of my social circle are married and many have kids. I feel in order to be happy in the new town I need to have time at the weekends to make new female friends and for us to make more friends with other couples who live together, I'd love him to join me in this but it involves making time at weekends for this. He says he wants kids but I am worried without making the effort we will have no social network during this time in our lives who are going through the same experiences. He lives 7 hours from my family and his so already they won't be able to help out. What should I do?
View related questions:
long distance, moved in Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2016): I think you are happy with him it's just an adjustment so you can see each other and he seems keen to include you its like you need a full week together to talk and be with him and then decide
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 February 2016):
 You need to talk to him. Tell him how you are feeling. He probably sees it as routine going out with his friends, he probably doesn't think that it effects you at all. I think its good to spend quality time with friends, but not every weekend. You need to do stuff as a couple as well to keep the relationship fresh and alive.
Just have a chat with him, tell him your worries and give him a chance to explain. I am sure he could compromise and cut down the lads nights.
Also you could take up a new hobby at the weekend, it would give you a chance to meet new people and make new friends.
...............................
|
